Sad boy (trigger warning maybe)

[Tryingtolive]

Try to reconnect
Remember who I was.
He's not there.
No memory's are vivid.
Emotions seem distant.
I got through it.
Never thought it was bad.
Just something I forgot about.
I put it past me.
Never asked why it happened.
I enjoyed what was done.
So confusing.
Pleasure seeking.
exploring Who I was ?
Manipulated ?
Mental scars....
Hidden..
Along with the abuse
So many questions
No one with the Answers.
Left with fatigue and stigma.
Cant open up to the ones closest to me.
My character I always question.
Attractions I have afraid to explore
Relationships I can barely maintain
Constant search stay on high alert.
Hate feeling out of control.

A childhood lost
Teenage years escaping
Adulthood spent recovering what went missing.
It should be
A childhood Remembered
Teenage years exploring
Adulthood discovering

I've lost myself trying to remember myself
I've hidden myself trying to explore myself
I've recovered myself trying to discover myself

 

[lumes48]

Love it (well, I love the way you've put it into poetry, I don't love the experiences you're talking about, quite the contrary). Hope you're doing ok dude