Revenge or Accountability

[TJ jeff]

Been feeling a lot lately like I need to confront my Uncle again...

Wrote a letter to him over a year ago - he just brushed it off like it was no big deal - jsut kid's games in his mind (he's 8 years older than me and it started when I was 3 or 4)

I feel that he needs to FULLY understand the h*ll he's caused me! - and yet at the same time I don't want to be seen as 'Seeking Revenge'

What I'm looking for I guess is suggestions of how to confront without crossing the line into revenge...

TJ jeff

 

[andrew51]

TJ,
You can only do what is best for you. Seek counselling, seek support, whatever you need. You have no control over your Uncle's reactions. If your happiness and healing hinges on his reactions to your confronting him, then you are on precarious ground. You've let him know how you feel. He's responded, perhaps not the way you wanted. Due to his age at the time of the incidents, I doubt that much more can be done.
Peace, Andrew

 

[Bill_1965]

TJ Jeff,

Confrontation is a two edged sword. It can provide you with a great deal of closure or it can be turned against you revictimizing you or somewhere inbetween. It is something that takes a lot of though, preparation, and planning. Read Ken Singer's article Disclosure and Confrontation: Considerations for Survivors first and work with a therapist in your planning.

Best wishes and take care,
Bill