yeah, much wisdom people. I really feel recognized here. When I log on, I feel some shame, but also some pride, and I know you guys would embrace me. I could see us playing ball together. But at the same time, I'm definitely not ready to acttually do that, to go to a retreat or even reveaol my name. Because I feel pretty confident that there are people who would mock me, and I just don't want to deal with that. A friend of mine came out as a rape victim, and it was very brave of her to do that. I totally see and admire the courage that those of you have who "come out" so to speak. But for me at least, a major part of my healing has involved creating a life for myself, and some of the people in my life (work, mainly) coudn't handle that information. And I think it's really important that if someone is checking out the site, that they know that everyone willl do everything they can to protect someone's anonymity. Some of us may be ready to come out in a few years -- not just for personal reasons, but also professional, etc., but we need to feel safe beginning our healing here There is no way for the internet to be completely "safe" -- but let's face it, if it weren't relatively anonymous, many of us would be drunker than we are, and some might not even be here. The timing of coming out, and the decision to do so, is a deeply personal decision, and even though we can't protect ourselves completely on the net, we should all show each other that we understand, and that no person will push another person out into the open. I was part of a face-to-face SA group many years ago, and I heard my name called out in a bookstore -- it was another member of the group, who rushed over to me. I know why he did that, but it made me really uncomfortable. Our love for each other MUST be restrained by mutual respect. After all, "love" without restraint or respect is what hurt us so much long ago.