Resources in Spain or in Spanish

[Alonso]

I am a Spanish man, and I would like to know about forums and other resources about CSA and recovery in Spain, or at least in Spanish.

While I find this website and its forum very helpful, it looks like it's mostly focused on the US and most of its members are American (actually it looks like I might be the only Spanish member of the forum). Since I am fluent in English that is not a problem for online communication. However, I think it might be very helpful for me to meet other male CSA survivors in person, maybe to attend a support group, and it looks like malesurvivor won't be helpful in that regard because most of its members live thousands of kilometers away from me.

Also, and this is certainly more subjective, I feel that no matter how fluent you might be in a second language, a mother tongue works better to express, understand and connect to deep emotions.

The resource directory of this website lists resources for several countries, but unfortunately Spain is not one of them.

 

[Ceremony]

Hello Alonso, I've been doing my search for Spain resources and the first one that seems open to men is this link:

Victims while children can check into free services

First Update:

I kept working on it, but so far everything focuses on children and women. Spain notes they're behind the times for helping men. After reviewing at least a hundred translated pages I believe this one link may be the only offering and as far as I can tell, they're not offering an online group. I have noticed online therapy, but to me, in the case of our needs, I think it's essential to be in person. I'll look again, I have been needing distraction, and helping you makes me feel good.

Second Update:
I searched again this Saturday morning. I found that men are way to machismo in Spain, and the social norms keep men from reporting. That means the Social Services don't have accurate statistics about raped male children and men. Spain is not seeing men without stereotyping that men are too macho. I do know how to use a Spanish translation App and would like to make sure you're aware of it?

I put this in This Spanish Translation App online

When men in Spain suffer sexual violence they're largely ignored and not given help.

and it translated it to Spanish:

Cuando los hombres en España sufren violencia sexual son ignorados en gran medida y no se les da ayuda.

You could use that to write in Spanish and translate it to English to see if what you're writing is what you hoped it is supposed to be? I see you can write quite well in English, and it's we who don't speak Spanish who can't help with the nuances you might want to discuss? Since I've just finished this study of Spain lacking resources and having deep societal stigma toward men's sexual assault, I understand better.

 

[Ceremony]

Third Update: I think, if you wanted to write some posts in Spanish and direct all of us to this link Google Translate we could copy and paste your post into it and get it in English, or you could write in Spanish like I mentioned in Update 2 and post the translation? I know some things don't come out perfect, but that's where we have to do the best we can with the tools we have.

Here's the Spanish Translation App from Update 2 It can be switched back and forth between Translating Spanish To English, then English to Spanish.

 

[PRFL]

Hello, all, and Saludos! to Alonso. I’m a Spanish speaker (Puerto Rican), fluent in both languages although most of my therapy has been in English so it’s easier for me to use English to talk about psychological issues, but I do get that some cultural issues are hard to translate. I’m fortunate that I’m currently getting bilingual help because I’m in Florida, I’m not aware of resources or services in Spain itself. Being that I’m new around here, I can’t contact you privately as that would be inappropriate to this board, and I’m hesitant to write in Spanish here because it may make moderating my comments much harder, but I imagine I could use words or phrases that would be helpful in Spanish, not sure what the etiquette would be. I come from a very machista culture and there are extra layers of issues that can be difficult to translate. One more concern is that although I do speak the language, we’ve diverged as the slang can be very different, not to mention the various ethnicities within Spain. Culturally, us Boricuas are probably closer to Andaluzes or Canarios, probably less so to Catalanes o Navarros, so I’ll do my best communicate. I need some time to write a detailed introduction, so for now I’ll share that I was bullied in middle school, possibly molested, then at home was feminized by my mother, both parents were alcoholics, my father violently so, and been struggling with sexual identity issues. I got lots of therapy for many years and was doing fairly well, but my partner died a few years ago, then my parents, and what got me back in therapy was a high school reunion that reopened my bullying issues, and things got worse with the recent Supreme Court issues. I’m not sure how much of my experience will be helpful to you, but I hope to contribute something useful. Espero poder ayudarte, y comunicarme en mi idioma original creo que me ayudaría a mi también. Un saludo!

 

[Alonso]

I'm impressed with your kindness, Ceremony. Thank you so much!

I have also spent lots of time getting information about services and support in Spain and/or in Spanish, and the reason I created this thread is that my findings are essentially the same as yours: I almost couldn't find anything. Apparently there are many resources available in Spain for survivors of sexual abuse... So long as the survivors are children or women. If you're a man, you're on your own. I contacted some of the Spanish associations that support survivors and they confirmed that much.

I've been doing my search for Spain resources and the first one that seems open to men is this link: Victims while children can check into free services

As far as I know, Catalonia is the exception in this sense. An admirable exception, but it doesn't look like it can help me much in the near future. Indeed, it looks like they offer the kind of services and support that in other areas of Spain are only available for children and women. However, it looks like they only offer those services in person, they don't have anything available online. I live in Madrid, Catalonia is about 600 km. away from here, so the only way I could use their services would be to relocate to that area. Which sounds like a good plan, actually. Moving to an area where they care about and support people like me can't be too bad. But an essential part of my current problem (as described in my introductory thread) is that I'm stuck in the house where I live now and I sabotage any attempt to move elsewhere.

I have noticed online therapy, but to me, in the case of our needs, I think it's essential to be in person.

I tend to agree with you, but given my situation I'm starting to consider seriously the idea of using online therapy, at least for some time. It looks like the only specialized face to face therapy available in my area is so expensive that the therapy itself costs more than my (certainly meagre) monthly income.

men are way to machismo in Spain, and the social norms keep men from reporting. That means the Social Services don't have accurate statistics about raped male children and men. Spain is not seeing men without stereotyping that men are too macho.

Yeah, machismo is big in Spain (although not as big as, say, in Mexico or Eastern Europe). However, I'm starting to wonder whether this is something different. It doesn't look like machismo, actually it seems to be the opposite, it seems to be misandry, i. e., sexism against men. I've been told straight to my face several times that I am being rejected and discriminated against because I am a man.

I do know how to use a Spanish translation App and would like to make sure you're aware of it.

Thank you for looking into that. I'm aware of automatic translation apps and use them often for other languages, but I think they are no longer helpful for me with the English language. Those apps are helpful when your knowledge of the second language is in the range from zero to intermediate. Once you become fluent in the second language they become mostly useless because they still haven't evolved to the point where they can identify the subtleties of language. In your example, for instance, the translation is perfectly correct, any Spanish speaker will understand its meaning, but at the same time it sounds weird, like it's a robot speaking rather than a person. I guess it must be impossible with the current technology to "explain" to a computer why that perfectly correct sentence just doesn't feel right to a native Spanish listener. The kind of emotional connection I miss when I communicate in English is miles beyond what an automatic translator can do in this day and age (they might bridge the technological-emotional gap in the future, who knows).

 

[Alonso]

Further to my previous post, I have wondered for years whether using a second language for therapy and therapy related topics is a good idea. I have started a new thread on the subject here.

 

[Alonso]

I can’t contact you privately as that would be inappropriate to this board

It isn't inappropriate for me in any way. I was going to contact you, but this sentence of yours made me doubt whether doing so might break some board rule. I can't remember such a rule, but then again I read the rules about two years ago, so I might have forgotten. Can you (or somebody else) clarify?

 

[PRFL]

Hi, Alonso. I just joined the board yesterday, and in their rules they state that I should refrain from contacting any member privately for at least 3 months, I'm sure they want to protect the members from any predators or the like, at least until they make sure I'm a safe person, and to me that seems perfectly reasonable, hence my restraint, unless the moderators here say it's OK but I dont' want to take that liberty without knowing for sure. I did see your spin off post so I'll elaborate a little more there (as soon as I finish cooking my dinner). Mucho gusto en conocerte y saludarte!

 

[Alonso]

Just sent you a private message. I understand that the restriction would apply only to new members starting conversations with veterans, and not the other way around.

Mods, please let me know if I got that wrong.