Resisted temptation.

Resisted temptation.
S

survive75

Registrant
Hey all... did something really dangerous this weekend. Put myself in a full-on real situation to re-enact my abuse. I never thought I would get to this point, but the drive... god, the drive was so strong.

Despite the alcohol, I was able to stop short of actually going through with it. Luckily, the person I was with didn't decide to force it.

I feel good. Scared, but good. I know I would have felt so much worse if I had actually allowed myself to be forced. Isn't that the draw though? That I get to choose to be forced? It's some semblance of control.

Anyway - this feels like a really big deal.
 
Sean,

This is a Really Big Deal. It's the kind of news that makes it worthwhile to come here when things are really difficult.

Thanks for sharing. I mean that.

Joe
 
((((((((( Sean )))))))))

As Joe said, this is a Really Big Deal. The draw is intense and you had the courage and strength to stand up to it.

Take care,
Bill
 
Sean,

You looked it right in the eye, and told it no.

Feels good to conquer the beast, instead of the other way round, doesn't it?

And I know what you mean, "choose to be forced." I made the mistake of telling someone my dark fantasies, and they used it against me. Yeah, in the end, I was REALLY forced, but I chose to put myself there.

But I am so damned PROUD of you, my man. Being tempted is part of the human condition. But you took it one step further. You CONTROLLED the urge.

Progress.

Peace and much love,

Scot
 
Glad to hear you made it through that and that you're happy with the outcome.

Remember, whatever you choose to do (or not do) in a consensual sexual situation does not diminish you are.
 
Sean
carve it in stone, then whenever you feel triggered read it !

Well done, it'll happen over and over again from now on.

Dave :D
 
Sean, congratulations for avoiding it! I am sorry, and scared maybe, that you got into situation that could have gone bad, but glad that you were with person who respected your boundaries. You did very good, to be so strong and resist.

Leosha
 
sean,

i am happy for you that you avoided it. it took resolve for sure.

me and other s.a. survivors do try to re-create the abuse. i hate it. i even did it about three months ago in an adult video store. i wanted to feel naughty, nasty, depressed, and low. know what?, i succeeded but felt like shit afterward.

i did in fact and have to be aware of why i do that shit. i am not a "bad" guy but i can so relate to where you were at. plus, we gotta be safe as perps, rapists, and manipulators are out there.

you are strong to have gotten out of it. i am strong but have been weak in the past. your post encourages me to be strong, be discIplined, to not act out, to be in control. i hqve not been
but seeing you do that is very good-great! i (we) make mistakes and are forgivin for the most part but for me, not forgotten.

guy
 
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