Reporting family members

[Alonso]

I'm considering reporting my parents and my sisters for the horrible abuses they have committed against me through the years. It's a huge task, among other reasons because there is a lifetime of abuses to report, the report alone might be dozens of pages long. I'm completely alone on this. No family members who support me or even stay neutral, almost no friends, and no money. The best I've got so far is a lovely lawyer who is ready to offer some limited help pro bono.

In this very challenging situation I think I could benefit from the stories of others who have similar experiences. A bit of searching didn't help much, though. I haven't found any case similar to mine in this forum. Are you aware of cases in which an adult survivor has reported the sexual abuse committed by a member (or several members) of their family?

 

[Ceremony]

My heart goes out to you, owing to research I've done about reporting. I am aware (Google search) that the statute of limitations is a factor, and there has been a move to change from 18 to 30 yrs of age to first report. I'm glad you've found a Pro Bono lawyer to offer advice. I am also aware of the lack of male resources in Spain. I hope there are some means to research other men in the news, men who have done some abuse work of their own could be persons you might reach out to? Maybe AspaSi would have some research to help you.

Best Wishes Alonso

 

[WG]

Alonso - As Ceremony said, there could be a statute of limitations in your country that is unique to it. I would imagine your attorney would know this.
No one in my family was sexual with me, my neighbor was however.
Guess I just wanted to say don't give up, don't let discouragement keep you from moving ahead. Seems like you're working on it already. Good for you.

 

[Alonso]

Thank you so much for your feedback and support. I'm impressed that you took the time to find all that info about Spain, Ceremony.

There has been indeed a very recent change in the Spanish law about CSA and child abuse in general. That's very good news for the new generation. Essentially they have twelve more years to report now. Unfortunately that change is not retroactive, it doesn't affect the offenses committed before the law was changed. That means that the offenses my parents committed when I was a child, considered in isolation, prescribed many years ago. However, according to my lawyer, who is specialized in cases of family violence, those abuses are not isolated, they are a part of the ongoing abuse that started (probably) when I was born and continues to this day. According to her I need to report everything they've done to me at the same time. That way I can bypass the statute of limitations, because, even though some forms of the abuse only happened when we were children, the whole thing has never stopped.

That's very good news, but at the same time it's a daunting prospect because it means that for the court report to work I need to include examples of all the abuses that they have committed throughout my life. I have already started, but just thiking about it makes me feel dizzy.

I don't have a good relation with ASPASI. In a nutshell, ASPASI is a company made of just two persons: A therapist and her secretary. They are continuously doing a marketing campaign to promote their company using Youtube, Facebook, etc. This campaign has made them known nationwide (and I guess that also internationally). However, their company ethics are definitely not the best. They promote themselves as a non-profit organization, but they're a company that works for a profit like any other, and their fees are high. Their moral standards in other aspects are also questionable.

The idea of contacting other men in similar situations sounds promising. I have just written to two organizations that work with survivors in Spain, and I think I will contact a few more.