Religion in recovery.

[Em]

Religion was always something that caused me pain through the years of suffering. I felt as though If there was a God, he was punishing me, and I felt guilt and shame for what happened to me.

As I've begun recovery I've learned that those things that happened to me were not the will of a higher power but the act of human beings. And I have nothing to feel shameful or guilty about.

I've begun to have a different understanding of my faith. My faith being that of Christianity. I now would consider myself a spiritual person, and it's helped me to find peace within myself.

Upon some recent study I have found many things in my faith that are helpful to my recovery. The following is from the book, "Your God Is Too Small." It was written by an Anglican minister and has been studied by theologins for many years. The following, I believe can be helpful to those of other faiths and those of no faith.

From page 92:

"What sort of people does God intend men to be?

To this question Christ gave an explicit answer which, if considered seriously, is a real shock to the mind. He gave a complete reversal of conventional values and ambitions, though many people miss this undoubted fact because of the poetic form and archaic language of what are now called the "Beatitudes." This revolutionary character becomes apparent at once, however, if we substitute the word "happy" for the word "blessed" (which is perfectly fair), and if we paraphrase the familiar cadences of the Authorized Version and put the thoughts more into the form in which we normally accept facts and definitions. We may further throw their real character into relief by contrasting each "beatitude" with the normal view of the man of the world throughout the centuries. We can do it like this:

Most people think:

Happy are the pushers: for they get on in the world.

Happy are the hard-boiled: for they never let life hurt them.

Happy are they who complain: for they get their own way in the end.

Happy are the blase: for they never worry over their sins.

Happy are the slave-drivers: for they get results.

Happy are the knowledeable men of the world: for they know their way around.

Happy are the trouble-makers: for people have to take notice of them.

Jesus Christ said:

Happy are those who realize their spritual poverty: they have already entered the kingdom of reality.

Happy are they who bear their share of the world's pain: in the long run they will know more happiness than those who avoid it.

Happy are those who accept life and their own limitations: they will find more in life than anybody.

Happy are those who long to be truly "good": they will fully realize their ambition.

Happy are those who are ready to make allowances and to forgive: they will know the love of God.

Happy are those who are real in their thoughts and feelings: in the end they will see the ultimate Reality, God.

happy are those who help others to live together: they will be known to be doing God's work.

It is quite plain that Christ is setting up ideals of different quality from those commonly accepted. He is outlining the sort of human characteristics which may fairly be said to be co-operating with the purpose of Life..."

- Your God is too Small


I found comfort in this. And a lot of truth. Forgivness is something we do for ourselves not for the people we forgive. And being real about our feelings and being honest to ourselves if nobody else is for me a big part of recovery. I hope some of you find something of value in this. Thanks for reading.

Em

 

[theo]

em,
there is much truth in the words of this anglican minister. i also have been searching for spiritual answers in light of the religious abuse and evil done i religion's name. we have found answers in different avenues, but we have found the same answers. as a theologian myself, there were fundamental questions i had about the conventional wisdom and popular consensus that is evident. the god and jesus i grew up with was the evil visions of either demented people, or sincere attempts at answers by well meaning, but shortsighted people. the faith of fanatics is deadly to the soul for it twists the holy into something that it is not. every religion has its share of fanatics, but their core values and responses to the holy are similar when the fanaticism is eliminated. i am glad you are finding answers that allows you to once more embrace your spiritual journey. take care, em.

 

[jwh]

Em,

Thank you for this post. You helped me remember a book that was the starting point for healing Christianity for me, as well.

I grew up certain that there was a God and that he loathed me. So, I grew to hate God. But I was only hating the false images of God, not the real God, who loves me unconditionally.

Another good book I would recommend is "When God Becomes a Drug" by Father Leo Booth, who is a great author for recovery as well.

I think something that so many of us struggle with, as survivors, is an image of God that is really just an image of our perpetrator enthroned. We must tear down these false images in order to get in contact with the God who loves us and "wipes away every tear." This is a God who loathes abuse, not the abused.

Jeff

 

[Leosha]

I have my personal relationship with God, of course, I think many people do. I do have difficultly feeling that forgiveness is necessary to make me a good person. I do not know that I can do that, to forgive the people who have done so much bad to me, and others. Maybe it is true, that to not be able to forgive keeps me from being a 'good' person. I don't know. But I don't believe I can right now.

leosha

 

[parttimecop]

The proper relationship with God is something I struggle with. It is mostly because of relationship problems or lack of romatic relationships that I fail to trust God. It may seem shallow, but to me I feel I have been let down and that God is not taking care of my needs. I so want love. I am aware that in some areas I may not be ready, but damn it I still am a man and have emotional needs. Maybe it is the abuse making it hard to trust(at least as a root, there are other things besides that that make it hard to trust) God or myself.

I guess I would appreciate prayers to help me with this problem I have with God.

 

[LupinIII]

I gave up on organized religion a long time ago. With that said....I believe a connection to a higher power/god is very important though. However you find that connection is up to you.

Hopefully you find it through loving sources and not angry manipulative ones. I am glad to hear that you are beginning to reconnect with something that can help.