Relaxation

[reality2k4]

I keep saying to myself that I need to do things to relax myself.

I guess it is not so easy, I find that I waste so much of the day, but do get some relaxation at night which I suppose is good.

When I think of it, I have always had to force myself to relax, it does not come natural.

The worst is when I cannot sleep, and get up early, there is no way I can nap during the day, and then I have a problem with not eating properly, have to get some of this sorted.

I am making yet another plan to try and stick to eating and finding things that ground me, like painting and photography etc.

I cannot wait until spring arrives, because I hate the cold and dark days.

I just wish I could be someone on a commercial just relaxing naturally, trouble is, I can even remember when I could do, so many years ago.

It is my goal to get back to that, wow, do I miss it,

ste

 

[roadrunner]

Ste,

I have always found it easier to relax when I have something specific in mind to do, something I will really like: curl up with a book, play my guitar, go for a walk with the dog, listen to music, etc. It also helps me if the sessions have something connecting them, for example if I am trying to write a song or want to finish a book.

The important thing to remember is that this time is for ME and the idea is to relax, not to "achieve" anything. But I often find I have to practically dig a moat around myself!

I think it's a good thing to develop the ability sometimes to tell the rest of the world: "Hey, fuck off! This is MY time!"

Much love,
Larry

 

[Grunty1967b]

Ste, I might have missed your point here but Ill throw in some thoughts just in case Im on the right track.

If I could look inside your mind I might guess that your inability to relax as well as youd like may be due to your abuse and feeling vulnerable, and if you really relax harm may come to you. Thats to be understood and even expected in an abused person.

That being the case, Im just learning myself (after starting to discover feelings feelings that I have never felt before prior to therapy) that I need to feel safe when Im relaxing or trying to relax. I never quite understood why sometimes I was comfortable and sometimes I wasnt. Im now aware that I need to feel safe when Im relaxing.

If Im curling up with a book, as Larry suggested, I prefer to go into a room and close the door. If Im having a lie down on the bed, again I prefer to close the door. Even my desk at my office has now been relocated thanks to me. I now face the entrance to my cubicle rather than having my back to it.

All of this Ste was a result of me understanding more what my needs are. Theyre not necessarily right or wrong, but they are right for me. I deserve to allow myself to feel safe and comfortable when relaxing. You do too.

 

[Morning Star]

SPRING, A HEARTBEAT AWAY

One day,
my master said to me,
"Relax now,
for I need to do
some work on you."

I said Ok,
and I took my mind
surrendered to Thee.

Thats when
it took off on a tangent
and landed on my front lawn.

It threw away every stone
that came in my way.

It burned every fallen leaf
for winter wind to blow away.

Soon,
my front lawn was ready
for the spring.

And so was me.

Then one day, I heard a distant wind,
It whispered,
Hush now!
for here comes the spring.

That day,
I found a spring,
gurgling in me.

Where it had laid
for many years.
Silent, still
and waiting.

It was waiting for me.

For I was the sun,
that would melt the snow away
and usher in the spring.

For I was the spring
that was born
under the winter snow.

And I was the spring
that was born
in the winter still.