Relationships

Relationships

fusionoflove

Registrant
I replied to a post by a new member and it really got me thinking about relationships and the effect that the sa has had or could have in the future.

I've come to realize that everyone, whether they've been sexually abused or not, thinks they're damaged goods. We hold ourselves up to ideals that we can never reach because no one can reach them.

I think that for me, forming an intimate bond with a woman is going to tough. I had abandonment issues before the sa. The sa only added to it. Although I want to move past the sa, it's always going to be a part of who I am. Through the recovery, I want it to be just that, a part of me. I don't want it to define me as a person and any future relationships I may have.

I've met a woman that's pretty cool, but I know that I'm not ready for another relationship. It's not that I don't feel that I'll never be ready, but there are certain things I need to take care of before I do so.

With recovery, I'm trying to form intimate friendships that will last a lifetime. Yeah, it's hard and sometimes it sucks because I don't get the intimate contact I desire so badly, but screw it. I need to make myself happy first. I need to wake up on a daily basis and feel I'm moving in a positive direction.

My T asked me when do I think that I'll be ready for one. I said, I don't know. It'll just happen. I'm cool with that because that's how I was before the sa took place. I just took things as they came and had a good time doing it.

Take it easy,
Fusion
 
Fusion, it looks like their is a lot of wisdom here. You sound secure in your thoughts and not so darn needy that you have to rush to get your value from someone else.

I am happy for you. You seem to be well on the way to a more happy and healthy life despite the sa. It is always a part of us--but we do not have to think 24/7 about being a victim/survivor. There really is more to most of us than being a survivor of sa. It is those other parts of us that makes the effects of the sa bearable and truly does weaken them in a big way.

Peace to you

Bob
 
Hi Fusion,

I agree with Bob, you seem to have a healthy attitude. It will serve you well.

Relationships are tough no matter what your background is. Everyone has troubles with them from time to time. There is some comfort in that if you think about it. We may have our own peculiar troubles due to SA but others do as well. Its all too human.

Take care,

Aaron
 
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