Rejection and Isolation

Rejection and Isolation
M

Morning Star

Registrant
With year end and festivities, all old family issues are being triggering off...

As a child I would spend most of my time at neighbours who would love me more than my parents could or had time for, both were working.
And my parents would hate and beat me for that.

They thought just providing was enough, they forgot the most important thing a parent can provide is love, they seemed to have skipped/missed it. Gradually I withdrew in feeling rejected and rejected them as well, I guess for failing me.

This feeling of rejection has lasted and has hampered my relationships. I dont call on friends and they become acquaintances. I don't call acquaintances and they become strangers.
I just wait for their call.
Recently I met a friend after a long time. who complained, you never take a second chance and call. They complain wwhere did you get lost?!

My isolation keeps me locked in and I only move in safe circles, family friends. Or meet friends rarely so that rarity will make them prize me. It hardly works.

But that is what my mother taught me: DOnt go to peoples house too often, they will stop valuing you. Today she is retired and alone with no personal friends except my fathers. Who as a contrast stays too busy with them. That way she has her own rejection to deal with. Which she is now dealing by getting more and more lost in prayers and worship, hours..
 
Morning Star - please read your own post and I think you may find the answer. Call people - some may reject you / not respond. The important ones will be there when you need them.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Hello Morning Star. You nic is an very important name to Native American people. They Cheyennes are known as the Morning Star People.

It saddens me to hear of the lonely life you had as a child. And that continues today more or less by your choice.

The quantity of friends is far less important than the quality of those friendships. You may need to take a few risks now and then. That may end in someone not responding to you in a loving way. But it may be the begining of a good and lasting friendship.

You have a lot of friends here. We all know something of the feelings you are having today.

Peace to you.

Bob
 
hello Morning Star,

Sorry your parents didn't care for you. Really that was their loss.

I ended up at my friends house a lot when I was a kid, so I can kind of relate. I will call people for a while, and then withdraw, like you described. I find that its something I must keep pushing myself on, sort of a constant effort. I don't know if it will get easier or become more of a habit to connect with people.

take care
 
To reach out in times of need is scary, it feels dangerous, it feels the risk of rejection is so great. But, we can take out some of the fear. Try to reach out when not in 'need' of it. Just try calling at good times, ask if they want to go to lunch, or meet for coffee or something. Try to practice that 'reaching out' in times when you are not really in need of company, but it would just be nice. Maybe by doing that, having that kind of successes, will help you to feel more comfortable with people at times when you DO really need them, and less fear of rejection. Or, in the rare case you may be rejected at all, it will be less devestating to you.

I wish you luck.

leosha
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top