WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T PROMISE YOU WILL NEVER INFILTRATE ANOTHER MESSAGE BOARD???
Another warning about this for "Miss Heather" - you've tread into a group that has such a hard time with trust.
FYI there's a scarcity of support resources out there for men who have been sexually abused. This site is one of the few places where guys who have suffered SA can open up and bare their souls about the most painful and horrendously shame-inducing experiences (and reactions) they've suffered.
How the hell do you think that pedophiles got to these guys in the first place? Through honesty and truth? No! Pedophiles lied and manipulated and threatened and coerced young boys and teenagers who were already down and out, already feeling the effects of some kind of neglect and/or abuse. How did you think that lying and manipulating such as you did on this site was going to be recieved? With compassion and understanding? Get a grip!!
Dealing with adult survivors of sexual abuse demands being honest and open. Any tiny crumb of deception, lies or manipulation is a GIANT trigger - its like like opening up the wound all over again for them. Your fake story has already destroyed some of the tiny steps of trust that these guys have started to take.
Dont you have enough life expeirence to realize that its hard enough for guys in general to talk about their feelings, if you even had a shred of awareness about that you can well understand its probably easier to maintain a glacier in the Sahara than it is for guys who have suffered SA to come out and discuss it.
So if you feel inclined to go and infiltrate another message board for your "art" just be aware of the fallout. You could contribute to pushing guys who are already on the verge of withdrawing from the only support they have into a situation where they have absolutely no support. Why the hell would guys come on here with their baggage of fear and anger and mistrust want to bare their souls when they are not sure the people they are talking to are legit.?
The WORST thing that survivors can do is NOT talk about what happened to them. The NOT talking about the abuse is worse than the abuse itself and you would be contributing to making places like this by continuing to be a big ol' fake.
I have to admit that your story did make me suspicious. You had spun an interesting tale of a caring family and a young, abused boy. Most families who have kids who suffer abuse typically have some kind of major dysfunction themselves. Its usually the whole family system that creates the environment for kids being manipulated and abused. Its pretty rare that the abuse is the result of an anonymous kidnapping or violent act. Your story of a totally functional, caring family with a young child who has suffered abuse is a pretty un-typical scenario. I just plain old didn't get the fact that you were such a functional family but you had a kid that you could not protect from abuse.. and you didnt appear to have any guilt or anger over it? What the f**k was that???
You know, all you had to do state your situation, say you were writing a book, and ask for some willing volunteers to talk to you. Certainly not everyone would have contributed to your research, but I am certain many people would have.
So, if now you cannot promise you'll never infiltrate another message board, and if you feel justified all in the name of art you're a pretty selfish human being and I have nothing but pity for you. There will be a lot of fall out if you do choose to infiltrate again, and I hope you can live with that on your conscience.
PAS
