Rage
Bowierocks
Registrant
I was sent to the so called world famous Gibbard center down in Texas by my hospital to get diagnosed ... I did receive the diagnosis of PTSD with the qualification that I think about CSA too much... As an MD and a human being it's amazing how much in denial we human beings can be towards others suffering . Who here would ever tell a woman she was too preoccupied with rape . If you had half a brain or shall we say heart , I would think no one ... It's plain unacceptable for a man to be victimized .. I don't enjoy being a victim , that's why IMF---cking never decided to deal with this crap .. I didn't think it could happen to men .. I thought the violence was all normal . Yet I received a bunch of other diagnoses that I had parts of - bipolar , just the mood lability as I was at times shed tears and other times angry after four hours of psychiatric exam .. Borderline as I am afraid of being abandoned and have mood lability ... Well I was abandoned back then, and this makes one feel all alone .. Narcissism - gee I am definitely preoccupied right now , and egocentric , but full of pride , I wish ... And they decided to grant me some PTSD as a consequential prize .... Then I was told I needed possibly inpatient despite the fact that I am not a threat to others , myself , or can't take of myself ,. I was put on the plane spinning with these multitude of diagnoses that I was told none fit ... Anyway , I was also blamed for seeking validation that I was okay ... These morons think one can sail though life for 38 years having your caretaker beat you so bad that ultimately you are thankful when he decided to rape you because at least it didn't hurt at that time as much as being beat,,, so yes , I don't feel alright , and yes I seek validation that I am okay ... So humor me and send These esteemed MDs a rant or two ... Honestly , I remember going on rounds in inpatient and hearing the head psychiatrist discount the fact that the patient was taking about CSA as ' it happens to everyone ' .. Yes , I agree it does happen to many people , but do we blame the, for being just a tad f--cked up ? That's like say if poverty happens to 99 percent of the world so one should not credit poverty in the major role that in plays in lack of education, healthcare , housing , nutrition etc .. This'd improvised people should be responsible for the choices they make .... That is what really burns me up is my wife is always like you need to be responsible for the choices you make .. Yes I agree with you , but I also am trying to give myself a break finally for behavior that might seem maladaptive , but is in fact a normal response to abnormal circumstances ... This sucks .. I want to numb it out but I can't .. Pardon my rant .
Bowie , MD ( major dick )
Bowie , MD ( major dick )
