Questions for everyone regarding my Therapist.
Am feeling pretty good today even though I had my therapy session yesterday. I have so many ups and downs during the week emotionally I'm glad that at least my weekend is looking good. I haven't gone to that many sessions, but my therapist recommends that I (a) keep a journal and bring it into sessions to share (b)she wants to increase the frequency to two sessions per week in the near future.
I sort of feel like a guy that has been walking through his whole life with the "STUPID IDIOT" sign stuck to my back. I had NO IDEA that many of my destructive behaviors were as a result of the abuse (Particularly my drinking, which I have stopped). I think I'm feeling better because a sort of lightbulb went off in my dim head that is shedding new light on WHY I have done hurtful things even though I don't intend to.
My issues particulary have to deal with trusting someone in a relationship and accepting love. What was a little sad in my therapy session was I had come to the realization that during my whole childhood I didn't have unconditional love from a SINGLE PERSON. No one. My whole idea of what love is got twisted and warped to the point where if someone would be loving, kind, and warm I'd run for the hills and do things to screw things up thereby making the idea in my head that I'm unlovable a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know it's a minor breakthrough, but hey, it's something new I learned about myself and I'll keep plugging away. Thank you all for your support.
jjt
I sort of feel like a guy that has been walking through his whole life with the "STUPID IDIOT" sign stuck to my back. I had NO IDEA that many of my destructive behaviors were as a result of the abuse (Particularly my drinking, which I have stopped). I think I'm feeling better because a sort of lightbulb went off in my dim head that is shedding new light on WHY I have done hurtful things even though I don't intend to.
My issues particulary have to deal with trusting someone in a relationship and accepting love. What was a little sad in my therapy session was I had come to the realization that during my whole childhood I didn't have unconditional love from a SINGLE PERSON. No one. My whole idea of what love is got twisted and warped to the point where if someone would be loving, kind, and warm I'd run for the hills and do things to screw things up thereby making the idea in my head that I'm unlovable a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know it's a minor breakthrough, but hey, it's something new I learned about myself and I'll keep plugging away. Thank you all for your support.
jjt
(Or as an adult... 
)