question to male survivors

question to male survivors
T

TRACYUK

Registrant
Would it be ok to start a link about the feelings involved when you find out someone you love so much has been attacked and violated in the most unimaginable way. those feelings are the good, the bad, the ugly and the downright beautiful.

I'm consious such a link is a lovers unburdening and not in the first instance a support to men trying to heal.

The hardest thing is the personal feelings of isolation because talking to friends and family is not an option when the information is not mine to share. The CSA abuse happened to him, the coping mechanisms were his and its ugly and not to be shared without permission.

I have his permission to share here but i think this site is about you guys and not primarily about us as lovers and allies.

My love to you all. I've seen first hand what this does to men and its heartbreaking to me and I'm sure to most other women who read and post here.
 
Tracy,

I would love to hear how you and others feel. Survivors do not live in a void; I think it would help us to have an exchange like this.

I have been thinking of telling my sister about this site and this forum in particular. She has been such an enormous help to me, but I know the whole thing is a heavy burden on her. Your suggestion strikes me as exactly the kind of thing she needs.

Abuse devastates not only us, but all those we love and interact with. I hope you will start the thread you have in mind.

Larry
 
Thanks Larry

I'll wait a little while to see if anyone has heartfelt objections but if not I'll start one. I have a feeling there will be a lot of tears and snotty nose goings on. :-) a pile of fags and a pot of coffee will be in order.

LOL

Tracy
 
Got my kettle and kleenex Tracy. ;) Fire away when you feel ready. I really think this is a great idea.

Larry
 
Larry, I've meant to say this before but never been sure whether to or not. I've read quite a lot of the posts in the male survivor column and elsewhere.

Very very many posts are uplifting and at times heartbreaking, but over time i would get stopped in my tracks and would get drawn back to rereading something again and again. After a while I realised these were always posts written by 3 men, yourself,Dave (Lloydy)and Bobby. (Maybe because you or your situations cut close to mine and my partners situation or maybe just the eloquence)anyway...
I have a sort of vision of you three. You are tall,strong,smiling and beautiful.

It must be your souls I can see.
 
Tracy,

Thanks so much. I am honored to be included in that company.

If you are seeing my soul here I am especially glad. Letting that out is something I still find difficult. It helps to be working on that with so many wonderful people around.

Larry
 
Tracy - I too think this is an excellent idea. As a survivor who is married to a loving, supporting woman who doesn't reveal much of what she's feeling, I might get some insight from others who share her current position in life, so to speak. Please let me know where to find the link once you get the ball rolling. Peace - John
 
Same here, Tracy.

It must be very hard, loving a survivor, when you feel you have no place to talk about your feelings. It IS hard, I imagine.

I feel that you guys SHOULD have your space to talk about these things, and I too would like a copy of the link when you have it.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
Tracy
I'm tall, but as for the rest :rolleyes:

I have his permission to share here but i think this site is about you guys and not primarily about us as lovers and allies.
Click to expand...
I think you're wrong there, yes, the site is called Male Survivor and it's aim is to help men overcome the effects of their chilhood sexual abuse.
But you're doing exactly the same thing with your fella, you're helping him in every way you know how, and you're learning new ways as fast as you can.
It's a common goal, you have just as much importance to 'your survivor' as this site has to any of us, don't ever feel like a second class citizen because you, and the other partners, aren't. To us you're everything and more.

But do we show our appreciation? Often we don't.
Many of us still haven't got the hang of showing out love and appreciation to our partners, which is desperately sad when we seem to know what we'd like to do, but we're still scared of actually doing it.

Dave
 
Hi

The link is: feelings, including the irrational ones.

sorry I've not worked out how to do a PM yet other than replying to one sent to me.
 
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