Question for Survivors

Question for Survivors
K

kolisha54

Hello!

Am happy to report that I have reached a point, with the benefit of the insights I've gotten from MS, where I can detect symptoms of an IK attack in my Friend - even when he is doing his absolute best to disguise them....

My question is: has your partner ever been helpful to you during these times? If yes, how? Humor? Touch? A specific gesture? A kind word? Have you found that certain things only work in a specific context - in private or in public?

Am very curious....

Thanks!!!
 
Kolisha

I think that "doing your best to disguise" a bad mood comes in a variety of forms. When I am feeling bad and actually making the effort to be around people, and also expending the energy to disguise my feelings, it's usually because I think that the people or person I am around is good for me just the way they are, when they're not worried about my feelings. So if you're with your friend and you think that this is what he's doing, it would probably help him most to be the best version of the self you are with him when he's not in the middle of some kind of attack.

I have to say something else. I know I'm lucky to have people around me who can figure me out and even sometimes respond in ways that help me, but I'm also careful not to expect too much or take advantage of that. I mean, I think there's a lot of potential for disaster in a situation where you're feeling bad and you have expectations about someone "knowing" what to do with you. If, contrary to the situation I described before, I want someone to know about my bad mood and do something specific, it's up to me to trust that the same intimate bond which allows that person to "know" what to do with me sometimes, also makes it safe for me to tell that person how I feel and what I need.

SAR
 
Ha HA! You'll know it when you see it!!!
It's one of those Stranger Than Fiction Panic Attacks... I am soooooooo sure you know ALL about them! ;)
 
Yeah, I had on of those "stranger than fiction panic attacks" last week - after four hours in a shopping mall looking at shoes and dresses !

but seriously, it did get too much for me and I bolted from the mall knocking people aside.
How much was male frustration at being there in the first place, and how much was my Survivor reactions to not liking crowds and noise is hard to tell. I guess one fed the other.
I have noticed my panic attacks have changed to coming when I'm in crowds over the last year or so, which I didn't have a problem with before.
I also feel very panicky for the first hour or so every day, but that wears off.

My wife recognises them now, and steers me in the right direction and calms me down.
And lets me go to the parking lot for a smoke !

Dave
 
I went to a ball game last night with a friend from school-- he's a good friend but very private, we don't do a lot of heavy talking.

As we were sitting down he asked me if I minded him taking the aisle seat because he wanted to be able to leave if he started to panic. I said sure and then we watched the game, that was the end of it.

I'm glad he was able to ask me, I'm glad he could have left if he'd wanted to. I'd bet a lot of people (probably even my friend if he hadn't known me so long) would have taken the other seat and tried to tough it out.

Sar
 
Sar what he did was confide in you because of who you are. His trust was given and honoured. You deserve a whole lot of cudos for who you are and being able to instill that feeling of warmth with others.

So. Standing ovation is in order
CLAPYEHCLAPYEHCLAPYEHCLAPYEHCLAPYEHCLAPYEH
 
Mais, oui!!!! Bien sur!!!! :p
Peutetre qu'on dit "YUK" au Canada????
 
Hi Kolisha,

I think it depends a lot on different things with me. Sometime, if it is just feeling 'edgy' like, she can help me to calm down some so it does not get so far. If it is further on, sometime just her talking to me can help me to calm down some. Sometime, we jut have to 'ride it out'. But I think she know me enough, and know what happens with me, that she can tell what is 'safe' and when. Thank you for being so good with your S.O.

Leosha
 
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