question for survivors- trying to figure out 17 year old.
I just found this site now, and I am so thankful to everyone who takes the time to answer questions.
My husband's brother who is 17 has been living with us for a few months. He was the victim of physical and verbal abuse in a disorganized and dysfunctional home.
He is just starting to open up, but there's a lot going on in his head. He suffers from mild/mod depression, occasional anxiety attacks, and frequent headaches and stomachaches. He has no self esteem, and is often edgy, which he shows by fidgeting constantly. He's had panic attacks at times.
He has a very, very hard time trusting anyone, and even after months of unconditional love and support that we have shown him, he doesn't often open up and talk to us. Even his closest friends, he has a strong reserve with, except his best friend of a few years, who is also the victim of abuse, although probably not sexual. He once told me that he is uncomfortable with male touch, even his brother (my husband) whom he loves, and who is the most nurturing person I know. But he does hug him or high five him often anyway.
His father is a porn addict, and was sexually abusive to his wife, my mother in law. I don't believe my brother in law is aware of this, but he was shown porn at an early age, and at one point, became addicted to it, which he isn't now.
My biggest concern is that he admitted to me that one of his biggest screw-ups is that he got too "touchy-feely" with his sister, who is a year younger. He is too big hearted to have forced any attention on her, so I have a feeling it was mutual. It didn't involve any actual sex. I am worried because I have a bad feeling this could mean that aside from the porn, someone in his life was sexually inappropriate with him.
I'm not sure what to think, or how to bring this up with him. At the time, I was too surprised by the admission to think clearly, and I chalked it up to his looking for love inappropriately. Please tell me what, if anything, I need to do right now. Thanks so much!
My husband's brother who is 17 has been living with us for a few months. He was the victim of physical and verbal abuse in a disorganized and dysfunctional home.
He is just starting to open up, but there's a lot going on in his head. He suffers from mild/mod depression, occasional anxiety attacks, and frequent headaches and stomachaches. He has no self esteem, and is often edgy, which he shows by fidgeting constantly. He's had panic attacks at times.
He has a very, very hard time trusting anyone, and even after months of unconditional love and support that we have shown him, he doesn't often open up and talk to us. Even his closest friends, he has a strong reserve with, except his best friend of a few years, who is also the victim of abuse, although probably not sexual. He once told me that he is uncomfortable with male touch, even his brother (my husband) whom he loves, and who is the most nurturing person I know. But he does hug him or high five him often anyway.
His father is a porn addict, and was sexually abusive to his wife, my mother in law. I don't believe my brother in law is aware of this, but he was shown porn at an early age, and at one point, became addicted to it, which he isn't now.
My biggest concern is that he admitted to me that one of his biggest screw-ups is that he got too "touchy-feely" with his sister, who is a year younger. He is too big hearted to have forced any attention on her, so I have a feeling it was mutual. It didn't involve any actual sex. I am worried because I have a bad feeling this could mean that aside from the porn, someone in his life was sexually inappropriate with him.
I'm not sure what to think, or how to bring this up with him. At the time, I was too surprised by the admission to think clearly, and I chalked it up to his looking for love inappropriately. Please tell me what, if anything, I need to do right now. Thanks so much!
