Question for SO's
Question for SO's
- Thread starterMikeNY
- Start date
Hmm...
I suppose that, as a survivor/partner, it was particularly helpful for me to see that my boyfriend's behavior was not uncommon-- I think all partners who come here want to know that, but being a survivor myself, I had expectations about how he would behave and what he would want that were based on my own experiences.
Also, I don't think of our relationship issues as "his stuff"--although there is some overlap, obviously. I think sometimes I come here to get info about his stuff, sometimes I come here to get help about "our" stuff when it overlaps with his survivor issues.
The only time I find something particulary resonant "in other ways" is when the survivors here talk about parenting. Some of the fathers here have written so well about their emotions and struggles as survivors/parents--I deal with this too and it always strikes a chord with me.
I am sure that some better informed person will come along with a list of links to female survivor resources-- although, to be honest, I don't think it would be hard for her to find some on her own... by which I mean, no one can be pushed into dealing with their abuse. And I think that the more of it the survivor does on his/her own, the better. I'm not saying that you're pushing her, Mike, I'm just saying the same thing I say to all the friends&family.
I suppose that, as a survivor/partner, it was particularly helpful for me to see that my boyfriend's behavior was not uncommon-- I think all partners who come here want to know that, but being a survivor myself, I had expectations about how he would behave and what he would want that were based on my own experiences.
Also, I don't think of our relationship issues as "his stuff"--although there is some overlap, obviously. I think sometimes I come here to get info about his stuff, sometimes I come here to get help about "our" stuff when it overlaps with his survivor issues.
The only time I find something particulary resonant "in other ways" is when the survivors here talk about parenting. Some of the fathers here have written so well about their emotions and struggles as survivors/parents--I deal with this too and it always strikes a chord with me.
I am sure that some better informed person will come along with a list of links to female survivor resources-- although, to be honest, I don't think it would be hard for her to find some on her own... by which I mean, no one can be pushed into dealing with their abuse. And I think that the more of it the survivor does on his/her own, the better. I'm not saying that you're pushing her, Mike, I'm just saying the same thing I say to all the friends&family.
Thank you SAR. Actually, she has been pushing me hard to help her as much as possible, EXTREMELY hard at times. Which I have. Now, she is in a good position to start helping herself a lot more. I was just wondering how usefull it might be to her for her own things if I asked her to come here. I would also like to know of any good places that I can point her toward.