Question for Christian Survivors

Hello SDD757! Yes, I was referring to laying on of hands. I was also thinking of the gifts that often accompany it: word of knowledge; healing of the mind, heart and soul; quieting of sensations, etc.
It’s right here...

I do believe in the laying of hands and prayer. As to whether God always sends healing is still a question.
 
It’s right here...

I do believe in the laying of hands and prayer. As to whether God always sends healing is still a question.
i also believe in the laying on of hands and the power of healing prayer. But I believe that healing prayer is often the beginning of a process. i have had two significant healing prayers and both launched me into a season of healing and growth.
 

MACH123

Registrant
Gods perspective makes no sense to us. But since Jesus suffered and died for us ? It's really hard for people to understand (because the soul and the fleshly body are seperate) that God looks at us as expendable. (The body) We are soldiers in service of the king who ransomed us. Pick up the cross. What's it mean?

But when you are depressed this won't really help or work and compassion dictates we understand this. I walked into church completely broken and it wasn't any help for about 20 years and the trauma all came out and suicidal behaviour and so on.
 

Ferguson

Registrant
Re Promises:
I understand that the Unchanging One promised to the firstborn an amazing life of service and joy - some of the promises were dependent on that firstborn following the instructions. The promise of trouble is a corporate one and the promise that that time of rejection/trouble for not following the instructions comes to an end at a set time. That set time has not come - so we should expect the Deuteronomy 28 promises of trouble and any repair to be a kind exception, until the restoration. When the firstborn is restored all the other "children" will enjoy the benefits. So expecting much at this time is more an exception than the rule. Not knowing this key understanding leaves bible believers hopeless or frustrated. Thinking that He has changed is a fruitless thing.

On the other hand: My dad issues block my ability to come to Him with requests and be able to receive much/anything (James 2).

I am also angry with Him as more pain has surfaced from my experience of being my dad's son. I know addiction stopped the pain from surfacing and now that is mostly being helped (by Him and others) it is coming up like oil in a rich oil field. I should be thankful that it is coming up to be heard/sorted/healed. I know that He can't be like my dad but that is the fear. (my dad did not sexually abuse me)
 
Gods perspective makes no sense to us. But since Jesus suffered and died for us ? It's really hard for people to understand (because the soul and the fleshly body are seperate) that God looks at us as expendable. (The body) We are soldiers in service of the king who ransomed us. Pick up the cross. What's it mean?

But when you are depressed this won't really help or work and compassion dictates we understand this. I walked into church completely broken and it wasn't any help for about 20 years and the trauma all came out and suicidal behaviour and so on.
I understand what you are saying. I used to believe exactly this very thing. It seems to be born out of a way to explain human suffering. That God does not put any value in the flesh and is more concerned with our spiritual health. However, this is actually Gnosticism.

I remember things like Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God, TULIP, explaining genocide in the OT and slavery playing into this.

God obviously values our lives and bodies or Jesus would not of had compassion on people or wept at death.
 

CJK

Registrant
I talked in another post about the first time I shared with some friends about what happened. I told part of the story with a question here about another part of the story. At the end of our prayer time, my friends encouraged me to invite Jesus into the basement where it happened. I wouldn't. I couldn't. The eight year old boy in me doesn't want him to see that, doesn't want him to be disappointed. (I know that He is outside space and time and already saw it. But the 8 year old in my thinks if I don't invite him into that space he won't see what happened.) Anyway, I realized I feel betrayed by Jesus and his failure to stop it. When they invited me to talk to Jesus I exploded in anger hurling expletives at him.

I am reeling. After following Jesus for 35 years, I feel disconnected and untethered. I know he is the only one who can lead me through this but I don't trust him. We have hit a rough patch in our relationship but I am confident I will get to a better place with him...eventually. For now I am talking to the Holy Spirit. I realize they are the same thing but it is the best I can do.

I talked to my pastor who encouraged me to wrestle with why a good God allows evil to happen. So my question is this, for the followers of Jesus in this forum how have you wrestled with this?
 

CJK

Registrant
God gave us free will. That means your abuser too. We are here to learn positive spiritual attributes. And never loose faith. This life is but a glimpse of all we are. I have never blamed God or Jesus for what happened. There is plenty of blame right here in the physical world to go around. I believe Jesus can help take away our pain but has no part in causing it. I look at hard times and crappy experiences as character builders and opportunities to grow. The alternative is anger, resentment and fear and I don't want that. I still have a lot of pain but never blame the divine creator. Remember Jesus did not even save himself while being nailed to a cross and blead out because he was respecting Gods gift to man of free will. Satan who was behind what happened wants us to blame Jesus. There is a battle going on for our souls and God lets it play out. No matter what happens its up to us to choose Jesus through it all. God Bless.
 

WG

Registrant
I do remember my T telling me early on into our counseling time that this hurt, shame, sorrow, grief, loss, war, death, etc. is part of living in a fallen world. Eden was not designed to be that way. However, Adam and Eve were given a will and choice, they were not automatons. Neither are we. As Greg123 said, Jesus took all of that for us on the cross. But it didn't end there. He rose on the 3rd day and that gives us the hope we need to get through the day.
 

MACH123

Registrant
I understand what you are saying. I used to believe exactly this very thing. It seems to be born out of a way to explain human suffering. That God does not put any value in the flesh and is more concerned with our spiritual health. However, this is actually Gnosticism.

I remember things like Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God, TULIP, explaining genocide in the OT and slavery playing into this.

God obviously values our lives and bodies or Jesus would not of had compassion on people or wept at death.
Not so brother. Well within the pale of orthodoxy as is TULIP and sinners in the hands of an angry God. Gnosticism is not. I assume you know this.
 
Not so brother. Well within the pale of orthodoxy as is TULIP and sinners in the hands of an angry God. Gnosticism is not. I assume you know this.
I was saying the notion that the flesh is worthless and God is only worried about the soul; is gnostic.

The items I listed seem to reinforce that notion, however are not gnostic.

“Flesh is bad and spirit is good” is a gnostic teaching...
 

Piepel

Registrant
I try to place my sufferings in the context of "man's cruelty to man." I began reading memoirs from survivors of German concentration camps during WWII. I learned that block leaders systematically took small young male children who arrived on the tranports abusing them sexually . The male children were called "pieples." It seemed to me that these male children received little pity from other adult prisoners who were all just trying to survive. A year later, I went to Eastern Poland on a tour of German death camps and death labor camps. It was the closest I could come to returning to the scene of the crime of my own sexual abuse.
 
I try to place my sufferings in the context of "man's cruelty to man." I began reading memoirs from survivors of German concentration camps during WWII. I learned that block leaders systematically took small young male children who arrived on the tranports abusing them sexually . The male children were called "pieples." It seemed to me that these male children received little pity from other adult prisoners who were all just trying to survive. A year later, I went to Eastern Poland on a tour of German death camps and death labor camps. It was the closest I could come to returning to the scene of the crime of my own sexual abuse.
That is horrific...
 
I try to place my sufferings in the context of "man's cruelty to man." I began reading memoirs from survivors of German concentration camps during WWII. I learned that block leaders systematically took small young male children who arrived on the tranports abusing them sexually . The male children were called "pieples." It seemed to me that these male children received little pity from other adult prisoners who were all just trying to survive. A year later, I went to Eastern Poland on a tour of German death camps and death labor camps. It was the closest I could come to returning to the scene of the crime of my own sexual abuse.
I don’t blame God for the abuse. I’m angry at Him because He knows what happened. He knew my heart for Him all of my life and the connection I wanted with Him. I wanted to please Him. It’s so hard to be in the position to want to be a good husband and not be attracted to women. To want to be male and feeling that I should have been born female. To cling to Him all of these years because ‘He is the good Shepard’, ‘His yoke is easy and burden is light’, and thinking that He was going to make it alright. Then I find myself at mid-life still the same mess that I’ve always been but not able to manage it; feeling abandoned by God and wanting to kill myself. I’m mad because He is a liar and I’ve wasted my life trying to live for Him.
 
I don’t blame God for the abuse. I’m angry at Him because He knows what happened. He knew my heart for Him all of my life and the connection I wanted with Him. I wanted to please Him. It’s so hard to be in the position to want to be a good husband and not be attracted to women. To want to be male and feeling that I should have been born female. To cling to Him all of these years because ‘He is the good Shepard’, ‘His yoke is easy and burden is light’, and thinking that He was going to make it alright. Then I find myself at mid-life still the same mess that I’ve always been but not able to manage it; feeling abandoned by God and wanting to kill myself. I’m mad because He is a liar and I’ve wasted my life trying to live for Him.
@SDD757 thanks for sharing this. there is so much honesty in your words. i too find myself at midlife frustrated that i am still such a mess. i can relate to what u said about wanting a connection with God. i believe God has desperately been pursuing me and i have not found the intimacy with him or anyone else that i crave. Please keep sharing. it helps me and others walking similar paths. Strength in your journey.
 
@SDD757 thanks for sharing this. there is so much honesty in your words. i too find myself at midlife frustrated that i am still such a mess. i can relate to what u said about wanting a connection with God. i believe God has desperately been pursuing me and i have not found the intimacy with him or anyone else that i crave. Please keep sharing. it helps me and others walking similar paths. Strength in your journey.
Thanks for the encouragement. I'm kind of embarrassed that I said all of that; but I won't delete it.
 
SDD, it is what you are feeling at the moment. Good to get it out.

Know that He still loves you and wants to continue to guide you on your Healing Journey. Even when you are pissed at him.
 

Ferguson

Registrant
When I was 20 The Maker came close to show me His love when I was alone - I pushed Him away. I keep pushing Him away and it seems like a cruel thing that I am powerless to let Him come near. It reminds me of the Youtube where the dog is chewing a bone on the sofa and he attacks his own foot - seen it? - the people laugh in the background but I think it is just so sad. My eldest son when he was a baby grabbed his own hair and pulled it - He screamed but didn't know it was him pulling his own hair so he didn't let go.
 

MACH123

Registrant
I was saying the notion that the flesh is worthless and God is only worried about the soul; is gnostic.

The items I listed seem to reinforce that notion, however are not gnostic.

“Flesh is bad and spirit is good” is a gnostic teaching...
Yeah ok thx I always associated that with the flagellants. I do feel that way but, all is forgiven, past present and future, so there is no need for the mortification of the flesh, just like there is no need to go down to the alter every Sunday. This view I thought closer to gnosticism but, I adhere to it because if I don't, I pick up my stick and start beating myself. I become the law, which is legalisim. I can't afford that, thank goodness salvation is free. : )
 

Piepel

Registrant
I need some technical advice for this site. I see other people have code names and images identifying them when they post. Mine seems to be sharing my full name. How do I switch to something more private?
 
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