PTSD, etc. & COVID-19

PTSD, etc. & COVID-19
with all this down time, after talking with a few MS buddies, it seems we are all getting easily triggered by this time of reflection, since our normal distractions have gone away. The distractions that normally would allow us to NOT think of our PTSD. Instead, we end up facing it head-on.

Who else is feeling especially triggered during this time? I have been work-at-home for only a week and I feel like exploding!!

My emotions are all over the place, Angry, Scared, Tearful, Overwhelmed, Powerless. Feelings that mirror my feelings towards the CSA.
 
Two weekends ago, I was full of rage.

Now, I think I'm more depressed than anything right now. I haven't taken a shower in 2 weeks or changed my clothes. It took all the effort in the world just to try to clean up my room on Saturday.
 
I fantasize a lot more (all CSA related as always - eroticizing the abuse). Feel less hopeful overall. Being stuck at home with my wife and our dysfunctional marriage does not help.

However, thanks to my heavy T work this year, I am not resorting to overeating (which is my drug of choice). I am actually continuing to lose weight. This also forces me to face stuff instead of numbing the pain.
 
It seems the isolation has given my brain permission to process the CSA more. I even felt a Flashback sensation the other day.
 
I went through the same thing since this stay home policy started. I started having flashbacks which triggered my anxiety and depression. My job as a waiter was a great distraction for me but now restaurants are closed. I live alone and that gave me too much time to think. So I’ve been staying with my parents during this time to at least keep me company.
 
I'm triggered too! Losing my temper at least once a day; rage explosions.My poor husband has to put up with me. More depressed, feel trapped ,
antsy, acting out in my head with violent sexual fantasies against me, eating more, on facebook a lot ranting. Trying to stay calm with prayer.
 
I got online a few weeks ago and pulled up my health records. I was stunned to see that my GP had indicated I have PTSD. I have been in denial for so long that what happened affected me that it was weird to have a label. Though stunned at first, I think it was actually helpful as another step to acknowledge that what happened is still affecting me.

The past three weeks have been the hardest of my life. Three weeks ago my T said he finally wanted to start talking about my CSA. Though it was a week before we actually talked about it my stress levels were off the chart. Since we have started talking about it, I have barely held it together with the family or at work.

Ironically the social distancing has actually helped me. I am an introvert and my wife and I enjoy being at home. So the isolation has helped me deal with my issues away from the pressures of interacting with coworkers. My T recorded a relaxation exercise which I listen to 3 or 4 times a day. That coupled with long bike rides has absolutely saved me the past few weeks.

I am sorry that so many of us are struggling right now. I am so glad for MS as a way to stay connected to others.
 
I seem to be more easily triggered by random stuff, and my moods change more quickly. Depression is making itself known as well.
 
Definitely been thinking way too much. And my counselor isn't working right now so all this thinking is left up to me to go over. Fun fun
 
I'm 90% sure I have the virus.

All my friends and family are sick. Many of them are staying home since hospitals are not taking people that are not having difficulty breathing. I've come into close contact with many people that tested positive.

I have all the symptoms (occasional headache, slight fever (comes and goes), congestion (comes and goes), and my newest symptom, loss of taste. I've been in denial this week, acting like the tough guy, but the truth is that I probably have it. The good news is that my body is fighting this, I haven't fallen completely ill but I'm in prayer hoping this all passes soon.
 
I'm 90% sure I have the virus.

All my friends and family are sick. Many of them are staying home since hospitals are not taking people that are not having difficulty breathing. I've come into close contact with many people that tested positive.

I have all the symptoms (occasional headache, slight fever (comes and goes), congestion (comes and goes), and my newest symptom, loss of taste. I've been in denial this week, acting like the tough guy, but the truth is that I probably have it. The good news is that my body is fighting this, I haven't fallen completely ill but I'm in prayer hoping this all passes soon.
I'm sorry. You're strong for keeping your head about this. I'm always here if you need to talk
 
I have been really feeling triggered during this social distancing/isolation time, too. Nightmares. Fear. Hopelessness.
 
I saw my PTSD-T today via video. Session went very well. Talked about it in detail in my Therapy Journal post.
 
I'm sorry everyone's going through this. Oddly enough, I've become more peaceful and self-love has grown, so I feel badly about feeling good when the world feels so bad. T says it's because my childhood was traumatic and chaotic, so now that the whole world has taken on those characteristics, it makes me feel comfortable since that was what I had learned growing up... Upside down and I find myself thinking these days, "is this what normal people feel ALL THE TIME?"
 
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