PTSD Causing Intimacy Issues

PTSD Causing Intimacy Issues
J

Jim Nobody

Registrant
Masturbation is difficult for me because when I'm about to climax, I'll think about his beard and lips wet with liquor touching the back of my neck, or how he liked my feet. The kissing noise still gives me goose bumps and a stomach ache. I have no idea how I'll be able to have sex with these issues. I literally turned down a girl a few weeks ago who wanted to have sex because of these issues.
 
well I don't have any good advice so I'll throw some bad advice (???) your way. Perhaps when you are with a girl the fact that you are interacting with another person will distract you from those thoughts. Its worth a try at least. Yea failing in that situation would be embarrassing but you'll get over it.
 
to Jim Nobody,

I read you thought about your experience. This would indicate this is a memory. In my experience if it were like a flashback, I would smell the liquor.
Assuming the flashback, I need to go through a behavior therapy method of separating my self from the experience. Identifying that that was then. This is now. I can find that, if it is not now, I can let it go, then while I return to where I was before I was interupted. For me I can take a breath
and continue. If it is a memory , randomnumber may be right that a distraction might be worth a try. For me, if it is a memory, i generally will have another thought come up, which is related to the first memory. Like his telling you about your feet. Then I would have to select another memory
Happy memories are good, memories that have the texture or are connected to sexual experience. for me sexual fantasy works better.

Go with God
 
Hi Jim, you need to train yourself and tune your mind past and also through that point. I am going to make assumptions here, masturbation in a person manner - try using a toy of a feminine body and slowly eliminate the smaller issues. Can you climax? did the ptsd flashback hit? if yes / no work from the last best operating position. Get yourself an escort to try any practices to do with women, easier and have no expectations then ease into normal love making. Ive been part of male,female and ritual abuse, it takes time but if you can gain the smallest ground eventually becomes a road.
 
Don't want to be that guy..... but, I think this post should have trigger warnings. Only suggesting cause it almost did for me. I hope this is ok to mention.
 
randomnumber said:
Escorts are illegal in the US in all but one town in NV (no not Las Vegas).
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Thats governmental BS lol escorts are legal in the Uk as you pay for their time only anything else is personal. For a country 2nd to asia leading in prostitution thats bs politics.
 
Jim Nobody said:
I have no idea how I'll be able to have sex with these issues.
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Hi Jim

You are not alone. Masturbation takes me back to my childhood trauma's and most of the time I don't get finished. Sex for over 20 years has been impossible for me, when I last tried was almost 20 years ago and had a really bad panic attack. I had to become celibate and it is saving me from that.

I am sorry to hear you are having problems as well. I think I could change it if I could talk about sex, I have felt very immature when it comes to sexual conversations, like I am still a young boy. This all became worse as I tried to deal with my past.
 
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