protecting our sons

protecting our sons
Just a note to say, I dont treat kids as kids, if I was a father I would be open to their fears, and they could tell me what hurts.

How many kids scream out in their minds every day?
In every corner of the World they scream in silence, or nobody thinks to care.

We live in a World that is so sick, and it not the World I envisaged as a kid, who never hurt anyone, but it is a rat race World where kids dont have time with parents cos they work so hard.

The other thing is this, and it needs careful noting. Kev talks about his mom asking why he runs away and stuff, when she should know he in hurting, and feel for her boy.

This was a serious issue with my mom too, she could never understand her little boys' hurt, and why he is like he is, and that sure confuses him.

We can never see hurt inside, we can never imagine it. Hurt on the outside is more identifiable because we see the hurt.

I got bullied at school and made fun of, it seriously broke my confidence, but I got above it and fought back, but we cannot expect every kid to have that fight, and sadly some give in.

And that, to me is the real hurt,

ste
 
Larry

A lot of the discussion on "speaking up" has centered on interaction between kids-- it's okay to step in and say something to your friend if you hear him teasing another kid, it's okay to step in and defend your friend if you see him being picked on.

They mention that often it's a relief to others when someone stops the bullying; if there are several kids watching something happen, their silence might not mean approval, it might mean that they are too afraid to be first to say something.

As ste says, not every kid can do this, but for those with the confidence and sensitivity, I think the knowledge that they're not alone in wanting to do something about the bully can make a big difference.

If we genuinely want protection for our kids, the first line of defense has to be with us as their parents: maintaining a relationship in which we build up their confidence and self-esteem on a daily basis and make them understand that they can trust us with even the most terrible news.
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Of course this is true. To be honest, if I am involved in what the schools are doing it is mostly because I *don't* trust/expect them to provide my kids with the tools they need and I want to make sure I am there when they drop the ball. :rolleyes:

My personal belief is that one of the best things we can do as parents is to treat children with the same respect and dignity as we do adults (in age appropriate ways of course) and it's been my experience that most kids don't walk out of the school building feeling respected.
 
SAR, yeah I got bullied at school, and had so much previous hurt, it taught me to fight the bullies.

And I protected other kids from them, but I always thot? Why did they do it to me, and when I confront them they back away sharpish.

I used to think, how can you not see my hurt, and how could you bully me, and like I can sort you out, and that too hurt, cos, I was trying to just be a kid.

The most hurtful thing tho, was the bullies tried to make my life some misery by using my past hurt against me.

Is it too late to spot these kids who get bullied, and they are vulnerable in society that is supposed to care for them.

I should never have had to be bullied, and it was only past events that cause it to be that way, but it took my childhood away, cos, it was just like a never ending fight, and I have to get beyond it.

ste
 
SAR,

Thanks for the details you provide in your post. I was especially gratified by this:

A lot of the discussion on "speaking up" has centered on interaction between kids-- it's okay to step in and say something to your friend if you hear him teasing another kid, it's okay to step in and defend your friend if you see him being picked on.
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What a great idea, and as Ste has reacted, my first thought is to ask where this idea was when I was in school. I also didn't see it when my two were younger (my youngest graduates next year).

And as always, the bottom line is we have to be there when our kids drop the ball. And drop it they will, just as all of us have done.

Sometimes I play "what if" on this one. "What if" there had been the awareness in 1960 that there is now. Perhaps I would have been able to say no, or perhaps I would have been able to go straight to my parents and say "Something happened and Im scared". I know this doesnt help me personally now, but perhaps it illustrates how huge our role is as parents.

Thanks again,
Larry

(edited to add the last paragraph)
 
My personal belief is that one of the best things we can do as parents is to treat children with the same respect and dignity as we do adults (in age appropriate ways of course) and it's been my experience that most kids don't walk out of the school building feeling respected.
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Having gone through hell in school, mostly from the schools themselves, I fully agree with that statement.
 
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