Progress!?!

Progress!?!
R

RICK57

Registrant
Just another update:

Last monday I had a call from the Police checking my availability to attend an ID parade to pick out the perv.

I suggested Tuesday afternoon or Thursday morning. I heard nothing else Tuesday or Wednesday, so was expecting a short notice call on the Thursday. It didn't come until 11:00am, with the news that we would have to delay until Thursday of this week when the pervs solicitor would be available (he has to be present).

This was bad timing as I was off to Amsterdam for a friends 40th for the weekend (8 of us in total & they all managed to get pass outs). By bad timing, I know that I always go into a subdued mode either the day after a development takes place, or for several days afterwards.

It happened in Amsterdam - I had a great time to start off with, but could feel the change developing within myself. Late on the first night, two of my friends sussed me out and asked me if I was OK (I hadn't gone into full blanked out stare mode, but they realised where I was heading).

I had to admit that subconsciously a potential court case was starting to become all too real in my mind. I know that once the ID parade has been held, then the court case is much more likely to occur. I kept getting visions of myself (as an observer) stood in the box in crown court giving evidence (it wasn't the tea and cakes doing this).

They said that they had been getting progressively more worried about me since I gave my statement back in October. They are now coming with me on Thursday - they won't be able to attend, but they are wanting to support me afterwards.

Writing my statement was exhausting back in October, but this takes the marathon off the roads and into the final arena. I will actually be pointing at his face and saying 'YES THAT IS HIM'.

Entering the arena means that I have a final lap to complete - I think that I was/am worried about falling within reach of the finishing line. I do not want to let myself or anyone else down at this stage.

I was going to post this message last night, but thought I would wait until I felt a bit more positive today (I knew I would, as I am starting to recognise my own patterns of dealing with this stuff).

Today I was still on holiday (always advisable to take an extra day after Amsterdam) & made up a pot with a winter flowering bush & some spring bulbs for outside my front door (creating something positive always makes me feel better).

I also bought 3 books & have started reading them all.

Catching Monsters (by retired Detective David Bright) - the first 2 chapters deal with a Group of Paedophiles that were captured after actually murdering one of their victims (Jason Swift). This didn't actually cheer me up, but it made me realise that I have a lot to be thankful for.

The Second Book is Rescuing the Inner Child by Penny Parks - a book I believe many of you will be familiar with.

The 3rd book is The World's Stupidest Laws - I bought this one to help me get through the other 2 if the going got too heavy.

Oh well - roll on Thursday.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Rik. Good luck on Thursday.

Just be who you are. A guy coming out from under the stench with anger directed properly and who has taken back his life and living it as he should ;)
 
Hi Rik

Good luck for thursday. I too used to hit a low when the police told me of new developments, its a strange feeling and the old doubts creep back in if you let them. Your doing the right thing. I had some bad news from the police this morning as one of my abusers was questioned but not under caution, shit I will have to rewrite bits and peices of "Benders" but never mind. I dont particularly want to get sued but then again i havent got anything of any real monitary worth.

Next time you talk to your FLO ask the about "Witness Impact Statement". This is a little known peice of recent law where it is possible for the witness/survivor to tell the jury exactly what affect the abuse has had on you. I was going to give one but as I never got inside a witness box ... ... ... one for another day perhaps.

My thoughts are with you.

Archnut
 
Rik, just to warn you that the id parade may take some time, his solicitor will probably find some delaying tactic, you know, like, oh the others are nowhere near like him or whatever. I hope they dont and it all goes off smooth.

I know in my mind as a kid, I could never have gone through what you are going through, simply because, if I didn't win, then I dont think I would be writing this.

I am only saying this to warn you of possible pitfalls ahead, his defence will make a whole load out of the time lapse since it happened, so be clear and precise if you can. I dont think for a moment that he is going to admit to what he did.

I wish you the strength you will need, it is not easy, but you owe it to yourself to nail him, and you owe it to the others, because you probably were not the only one.

Whichever way it goes, we are always with you, win or lose, you can never lose, because you have done him so much damage. It is not really recompense for the life sentence he dealt you as a kid, but you survived it, others did not.

I pray every night for them,

take care,

ste
 
Keep it up Rik.

I remember when I was going through that sort of thing. I wouldn't have an emotional reaction, but when I had to talk about the case with the DA I would all of a sudden get soaking wet under my arms. Sometimes the anxiety comes out in odd ways eh?
 
Thanks again for the support.

I've just had a thought whilst sitting here!

I've never worn my MS t-shirt yet, so I'm going to wear it on Thursday. That way I can take all of you with me into the ID parade. I'll also have 2 friends waiting outside for me afterwards.

That's got to give anyone strength!

Best wishes...Rik
 
What a crazy day!

What I didn't say earlier was that today (10th Feb) was also my follow up day at the hospital for my kidney stone problem - that's why I originally had the day off.

Results were good - biopsy results from bladder wall also 100% ok. Have to go back in August for a follow up x-ray to ensure that no more stones are present.

Best friend since I was 11 had his birthday today also (does not know about the abuse yet - it was due to his junior school friend changing schools in 69 that I was left open to abuse)..complicated but/....!

Tonight 2 friends took me to the police station for the ID parade. There was a 1 hour delay due to some muck up with his solicitor. Thank god my friends were there or I would have become a Telly Tubby (LA LA - that means crazy in England).

I managed to complete the task. I wore the T-shirt (MS), so had you all there with me.

I'll sleep well tonight!

Sleep well my brothers...Rik
 
I'm OK, but I feel like throwing glass everywhere just so people know what it's like to have your feet cut (metaphorical).

I hope he's now looking through bars!!
 
Guess I've calmed down again after my last comment.

One thing that has stayed with me from last night:

The ID parade was actually a DVD with 9 different people on it.

They each in turn faced the camera, looked to one side & then to the other side, then back at the camera.

When he looked at the camera, I saw the fear in his eyes.

That picture has stayed with me since! Shoe is now firmly on the other foot!
 
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