I really connect with the thought of me being a control freak myself, having control myself for so long to not goff up to annoy my parents.
I still want things to do things perfectly, so that they would love me at least, because somehow I had gathered that if they dont love me, it is, was all my fault, so I am correcting that now, by doing thing wrongly dilebrately and telling myself its ok.
Like earlier shopping useld to be a hellish experience, as I coul dnever decided which colour or trouser to buy, or out of five cds I like, howmany I love and how should I buy these wrere all questions that faze me now. but now I have started listening to my heart now more andmore, as my mind is decidedly screwed up. may be it is good. as it is forcing me to listen to my heart, my self, earlier when I didn't I tried to control myself toooooo much hide my fears and all, while I was collapsing inside.