Private Messages Not Private?

Hey man, it sounds like a great system for protecting guys here. Question I have is it doesn't seem like guys are prohibited from looking apart from those generated reports, that they can be seen other times as well. It's good that any kind of issue is followed up on, but how do you show evidence of something you don't know is happening. It's why it might be helpful to add an icon on the messages that's generated when they're looked at. Hey man, it's nothing personal against any guy giving his time to make this place work well, props to all you guys. Heck, you're on staff and I think I'd trust you with my life. But like I said right before your post, I think it's just something personal I gotta do better with.
i think I already do trust them with my life!! I know I would be here but for the staff and support on here.
 
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MO-Survivor

Greeter
Staff member
:) FYI - Greeters do not have the ability to look at anyone's conversations. The ability is as limited as it can be.
 

Blueshawk

Registrant
I hear you I work in home remodeling and additions and a lotta people hate seeing smoke alarms, they're like ugly offwhite warts on a new ceiling, and if they focus just on them, it bothers them and they can't see the bigger ceiling. I haven't said anything on a PM that I haven't said on a forum, so it shouldn't bother me at all.
 

DavidM-LT

Moderator
Staff member
So, do not say or send anything in "conversations" you wouldn't want the whole board to see.
This is extremely misleading and unfair.
Based on the other thread quoted above, it's not difficult to understand that there's something very specific that happened with you. Clearly it has affected you tremendously and I am sorry for that.

I would like to point out very clearly that all the staff, from greeters to admins and mods, are first and foremost survivors ourselves. That really does make us keenly aware of survivor-related subtleties and sensibilities.

No one is forced to be here.

And aside of being first and foremost survivors, everyone on the staff is a volunteer. And no one's sitting around with nothing else to do all-day long. The idea that someone's just going rogue checking up on someone's private convo is really crazy. And at that, it's nearly slanderous to say that such private info/details would be made public.

There is an immense amount of work that goes into keeping this place safe. Sadly, not everyone who joins is here looking for healing. And to weed those folks out... there's a lot of work, and sometimes even necessary damage control.

A private message here is just as private as an email. And anyone who's paid any sort of attention to the news over the past several years should know just how "private" that really is.

Please be kind
 

Stefan Romir

Registrant
"No one is forced to be here." Is that a suggestion that I should leave?

Who committed slander that sounded like private info/details would be made public?
 

Stefan Romir

Registrant
Let's say that another member and I got on incredibly well, for many weeks, and one of us wants to send their email address to the other.

Will the software swoop in and prevent that? To be frank, that's the most important part that I'm asking these questions for, anyway.

Regarding material triggering a software response, what does the software actually scout out?...and, who set it?...and what is it set to find?
 

Stefan Romir

Registrant
In my most recent experiences, on such forums, my sending of private messages is significantly rare, anyway. I've just never encountered a forum, over the last 21 years, where private messages are less than private. I've owned and used forums from 8 companies, and there was never any such thing. It was bound to get my attention.

The reason is strong and valid. I just want to know that I'm not breaking a rule if I send my email address to another member I've chatted with for weeks.
 

MO-Survivor

Greeter
Staff member
Let's say that another member and I got on incredibly well, for many weeks, and one of us wants to send their email address to the other.

Will the software swoop in and prevent that? To be frank, that's the most important part that I'm asking these questions for, anyway.
I'm not certain but I would assume the software is looking for keywords that imply danger to someone else. Suicide, for example, is a topic that is not generally thought well of simply because there are those who struggle with SI. Of course, talking about it isn't going to cause anyone to do it. So that's an example. I can think of a few other things too, but I don't know for sure what keywords are looked for.

As far as sharing private details - in the forum or in private conversations - nothing is prevented. Nothing quite so Big-Brother-ish occurs here :) You are welcome to share any personal details you want with someone here - but... naturally that is discouraged because 1) it's hard to really get to know people here, and 2) there are people who sign up here who aren't survivors but are here to stir up trouble (as mentioned - it doesn't happen often, but it has happened). So we are all highly encouraged to be cautious and discerning about connecting with people beyond this forum. And yet - you can find many trustworthy & real people here :)

In my most recent experiences, on such forums, my sending of private messages is significantly rare, anyway. I've just never encountered a forum, over the last 21 years, where private messages are less than private. I've owned and used forums from 8 companies, and there was never any such thing. It was bound to get my attention.

The reason is strong and valid. I just want to know that I'm not breaking a rule if I send my email address to another member I've chatted with for weeks.
Do you recall all the noise that happened a few years after 9/11 - when the public found out that their call records were being given by phone companies to the government? It was seen as an invasion of privacy - and yet, it continued on because the need for safety was greater than that of privacy. I am not wanting to get into that debate by any means (sacrificing privacy and rights for safety) - so please do not start a debate here. I'm only mentioning this to point out, as @DavidM-LT already has, that while most places (this one included) don't go snooping around to listen to or read every phone call or email message or text you send - they could do so if they had just cause.
 

betrayed boy

Greeter
Staff member
guys only mods or admin guys have access to read anything, greeters can not read anything except whats posted in the forums
 

Nathan LaChine

Webmaster
Staff member
Folx,

I would like to a moment to encourage everyone that this is a place for survivors that must be safe for all. MaleSurvivor has never hidden that fact, to create a account one must agree to "Terms of Service" and "Privacy Policy"

malesurvivor-registration-page.png


Each and every one of you agreed to this in the terms and privacy policy to create your account. the mail icon is called "Conversation" not "Private Message" as to ensure that it is not misleading users in assuming it's private. The "Terms and rules" are at the bottom of every page on the Support Forum for easy access.

I cannot go into details about how the software works or what triggers an alert but please know Mods do not have the ability to randomly look at conversations, information collected and actions taken by the mod/admins has never been publicly shared. The previous thread on this topic can be found HERE, it may answer some of your questions as well. Please know that some of the suggestions given are not possible as the support forum software is not created by us which limits what we can and cannot do. The suggestions about changing the mail icon cannot be done, the flagging/notification when a conversation has been flagged by the software is not a option, changing the name from "conversation" to something else is not an option.

What is a option is the text used in the terms of service and privacy policy pages, we can update those. If one or all of you would like to form a workgroup to make suggested updates to these we can then bring them to the Board of Directors and our the attorney for review and acceptance. Anyone that is interested in this please email me webmaster@MaleSurvivor.org

Take care all,
Nathan
 

Blueshawk

Registrant
Folx,

I would like to a moment to encourage everyone that this is a place for survivors that must be safe for all. MaleSurvivor has never hidden that fact, to create a account one must agree to "Terms of Service" and "Privacy Policy"

malesurvivor-registration-page.png


Each and every one of you agreed to this in the terms and privacy policy to create your account. the mail icon is called "Conversation" not "Private Message" as to ensure that it is not misleading users in assuming it's private. The "Terms and rules" are at the bottom of every page on the Support Forum for easy access.

I cannot go into details about how the software works or what triggers an alert but please know Mods do not have the ability to randomly look at conversations, information collected and actions taken by the mod/admins has never been publicly shared. The previous thread on this topic can be found HERE, it may answer some of your questions as well. Please know that some of the suggestions given are not possible as the support forum software is not created by us which limits what we can and cannot do. The suggestions about changing the mail icon cannot be done, the flagging/notification when a conversation has been flagged by the software is not a option, changing the name from "conversation" to something else is not an option.

What is a option is the text used in the terms of service and privacy policy pages, we can update those. If one or all of you would like to form a workgroup to make suggested updates to these we can then bring them to the Board of Directors and our the attorney for review and acceptance. Anyone that is interested in this please email me webmaster@MaleSurvivor.org

Take care all,
Nathan
Thanks Nathan for the info, I realized my problems with things turns out wasn't the policy. Sorry for adding any confusion.

As a suggestion, saying all submitted content may be reviewed by staff is kinda open ended. Adding what you said "Mods do not have the ability to randomly look at conversations" after it probably would've answered questions of policy. The rest is on me.
 

Nathan LaChine

Webmaster
Staff member
Thanks Nathan for the info, I realized my problems with things turns out wasn't the policy. Sorry for adding any confusion.

As a suggestion, saying all submitted content may be reviewed by staff is kinda open ended. Adding what you said "Mods do not have the ability to randomly look at conversations" after it probably would've answered questions of policy. The rest is on me.

My thought is using the word "staff" is better then specifically listing all volunteer positions, what about if it is re-written as

All content you submit, upload, or otherwise make available to the Service ("Content") may be reviewed by staff members (i.e. Mods, Admins, BoDs, etc). All Content you submit, or upload may be sent to third-party verification services (including, but not limited to, spam prevention services). Do not submit any Content that you consider to be private or confidential.

Does that make it more clear you think @Blueshawk or do you think we need to keep tweaking the verbiage?
 

Blueshawk

Registrant
Fwiw, I don't get how MS is organized other than knowing it is. MO says greeters can't see posts, but they're tagged as Staff Members with icons and figured on the Forum List when it lists Staff Online they had access. Tbh, it wasn't individual guys or particular positions that got me asking, it was the ability to access posts apart from flags generated by the computer or others. You should consider adding what you said "Mods do not have the ability...", that gives context to what seems open ended.

Y'all have been doing this for a long time and there's a lotta wisdom and integrity in the guys who put this together and run it. Use the suggestions if they matter, otherwise let them pass.
 

Nathan LaChine

Webmaster
Staff member
@Blueshawk thank you for follow up and suggestions, the reason "Greeters" show as "Staff" is because they are part of the volunteer staff here. I will reflect on the thoughts about how to word that content is software screened for alerts or however I can word it.

Thank you,
Nathan
 
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