predisposition? possible trigger

[24yearsandcounting]

I was reading something completely unrelated in Psychology magazine.
Apparently, when a mother gives birth, she naturally secreats oxycotin in her blood stream or something so she bonds with the child. Later on in the article it mentioned that teen boys going through puberty have heightened Testosterone, and Progesterone raging, and the mother may be going through menopause and having hot flashes.
This seemed to add up why people get fixated about the people they abuse, and think they have some euphoric 'love' for them, when in fact it could just be a matter of mis-placed chemistry. *trigger alert* -one female claimed to have reached a climax w/ her son faster then she did w/ her husband, or most any other man for that matter. -getting an orgasm is not as easy for women as it is for me, so I understand. -she is in therapy, last I checked, and may have already been in/out of trouble already.
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Psychologically speaking, what else is up with people who abuse their own offspring, or sexualize children? Is it more common statistically in places where they have lead contaminated drinking water, or some reason?
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If it sounds like I am sympathizing w/ abusers, I am a little, since my parents were both abusers, and I understand abuse-ees growing up (in a time when psychology was only for the craziest people and communists, and officials looked the other way when it came to child abuse at school, church, or home)
I just don't want to hate anyone

 

[24yearsandcounting]

I forgot. What about genetic factors if any? I sometimes here how gay men/women say they feel like they don't have a choice about it or some crap. I for one don't believe there is a genetic disposition for it, but you could probably make an ironic (or perhaps moronic) joke that it runs in the family. I think I've heard something like that before actually (lame joke to that effect).
Now that I've been exposed to people who are down w/ this sort of thing, I can now pick them out of a crowd. Some look like they are in therapy, and are keeping back searing words against their abuser, and some have gone pervy and embraced it. I think the latter needs to get a wake up call, and shown a way on how to not be a sicko.
Some parents I've seen seem to have been taken by surprise that they'd feel like that about their children. One GOod couple I met felt like that, but successfully resisted urges to molest.
I think there needs to be more education on this subject, planned parenthood, and these wacky curve balls people never see comming. Thankfully, I think a relatively (no pun intended) small percentage go all out pervy when becoming parents.

 

[Overburdened78]

I have a friend who is gay. Personally I have no problem at all with it. It's not my choice but it's not my place to make choices for other people. Anyway, he's been insulted, abused, made fun of, threatened with bodily harm and beat up a few times pretty much all his life. Do you think if he had the choice he would have chosen that kind of life? A life full of pain, fear and rejection? A life of lonliness, afraid to even try and make any friends because someone might judge you or hurt you or even hate you? I don't think so. There have been times he's cried on my should saying he wishes he could be normal(straight). So while you're free to have your own opinion, I have to disagree. I don't think he can help being who he is. For some, yup I'm sure it's a choice. But for a lot I think it's just in them from birth.

People abusing their own offspring - maybe it's like how there are certain animals that eat their own offspring. I wasn't abused by my real dad, he was just a step dad. Did that make is less tragic? No fucking way.

I don't want to hate either but I can't feel sorry for people or parents who abuse kids. If you're sick and you have the urge to hurt kids, go and get some help. Talk about making the wrong choice! Would you sympathize with the abuser who molested and raped your child?

I think you might be onto something with the lead in the water thing lol

 

[24yearsandcounting]

ask me a couple years ago, and I would have said they should all be tarred, feathered, and flogged irriguardless of the circumstances. Turns out someone I fell in love with years ago may be abusing her son in the last couple years. Never thought I'd stop hating pervs, but kinda parrallel to Ozzy osbournes facination w/ Allister Crowley, I want to know why they do this, & if there are other reasons why, and how they can change.
Speaking of people that just molest random children, I think that has to be an illness, and we should do things with people in jail other then just make them rot. By all means it should be a sanction, and punishment, but if they ever leave they should be better off then when they arrived. Prisons don't reform people that well. I only heard of one on the news recently that said they do take the criminal out of the person, and prepare them to live in society again. I don't know what they do, or what kinds of criminals they get, but they seem to have some success at changing lives for the better. I missed the news story about it.
I don't think people know why people turn into sickos. I think this is something people should understand so it can be prevented. -

 

[Overburdened78]

Tell that to a 6 year old after his dad rapes him.

 

[ForeverFighting]

It would sure make life easier if we could blame something--anything--for what was done to us. Anything is easier than blaming a person on whom we depended for safety.

But the fact of the matter is that everyone makes a choice in life. Abused or not, sick or not, our parents made choices as to how they would or would not raise their children. I could blame my grandma for raising my dad to be a worthless, selfish, nothing of a human being who cared more about himself than the infant before him. But the fact is, I was abused. I had rotten parents. I guess you could say mental illness runs in my family. But I choose to be better. Never, ever, will I say, I'm sick so I can't help abusing people. Would you?

Blame is one of the most difficult things about healing from abuse. My dad was horrible, so I depended on my mother. In recent years I've realized that she is completely emotionless, has no social skills whatsoever, is manipulative, and a liar. Can she help it? Yes.

It takes a well person to realize he's sick. It's about choice. Somewhere in life we chose to be better than anything our families could produce. They had that choice, too.