Pre-therapy Funk???

Pre-therapy Funk???
S

SandyW

Registrant
The good news...my husband started therapy. The bad news and what got him there is another story in itself. Anyway, this evening was his first appointment. We met with T last week and things seemed to go well. My husband seemed at ease with him and relaxed (which is unusual for him). So anyway, last night he began to withdraw and was in a foul mood. This carried out through the day today, and he picked a fight right before he left (about money...which is a sore subject with me anyway because a cocaine binge $$$ is part of what led him to this point). I can't understand this as I thought he'd be looking forward to going as he really seemed to connect with T. I thaught that just knowing he could talk to someone who wouldn't judge him, or wasn't emotionally invested would make him feel better. So, he should be home in the next 45 minutes. I hope he did go to his appointment tonight, as I am starting to feel a bit anxious about this.

Sandy
 
*********TRIGGER*******************

Therapy can seem like a scary thing. All that shit you are hiding from needs to be accounted for.

I have had anxiety attacks right in therapy. Remember, that is where you dig up the shit, and the shit is clever. It knows that the therapist can handle it and you can't, so it will come looking for you when you don't have the protection of the therapist. That is when we get angry, the next day or that night.

Angry that we should even have to be worried about shit that the "normal" people don't even have. Angry that we get angry in the first place; angry that sometimes it takes numbing to handle the pain, only to find out the numbing only helped for the very second it numbed, because coming down, or after we cum, or whatever we do is made worse by the shit.

And the shit is standing there laughing at us with the better-than you face of our perp.

Angry that the normal people can't give us a break. Angry that no one understands, not even us, and angry that the only answer we will ever get is when we decide to be satisfied with the half-baked notion that there is no understanding.

Because, like the weather, you cannot predict this shit, and it won't ever completely go away.

We haver to live with this shit, given to us by some asshole years ago.

James

Sorry, I just had to let go for a minute...bad day.
 
Sandy,

I saw your "Predator or pray" post, and I think Dave's reply this morning is right on. I hope the start of your husband's round of therapy is something that you'll one day recall as a turning point for the better life your whole family deserves, no matter what anxieties or fears you must work through on the way.


James,

That is a strong and oh, so very accurate description. I think you could have posted it in the poetry section. I don't know what else to say.

Thanks,

Joe
 
James / Sandy

What else could I add to James' post ? nothing !

That's how I felt in the early sessions I had, but it got better for me thankfully.

I got so wound up before I went I would explode at the slightest provocation. All I needed was simple question like. "put the rubbish in the bin on the way out please" and I'd reply "CAN'T YOU DO THAT YOUR F****** SELF !!"

I was a pussycat after therapy.

Dave
 
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