Power

Power
I

Indy

Registrant
Lately I have been struggling a lot. Part of is has to due with the fact that I have opened myself back up to growth and healing. But I also face feelings of powerlessness and I thought...

we (survivors) make up a huge block of people. If one in five men has been abused then we have quite a voting block and some power. Maybe we should lobby for the next president based on their stand on sexual abuse.

Imagine for a moment, if in the inaugural speech, the president, instead of declaring war on some country, said, "I am going to do everything possible to end sexual abuse and to acknowledge survivors." Or if the pope said, "Those priests were wromg and the church is sorry.

Ah, well, I ramble
 
What you say is true, the power we have, the power we have for surviving the hell we survived. If we all wroite to our congressmen, then maybe we could get something done, but at the same time, I know a lot of survivors, including me, are not healed enough to "come out of the abuse closet." But I think it would be a huge step to build bridges if the people in power acknowledged us as survivors, especially if the pope made a statement as you suggested.

Peace,
Scott
 
Just a little thought from me to you...

we do make up a large voice. While I don't know that we'll have a candaiate ready in the near future to openly say: "I was abused, vote for me!" I have been recently feeling hope that things will change. Men like those here are strong and I wholeheartedly believe that in my lifetime things will be different. Men will no longer feel the pain of issolation as we together make up an army....try and stop us! Bit by bit we'll create change. I won't pretend to know the outcome, but big changes will happen.

cc
 
I think we have to focus on PROTECTING today children by showing the powers that be. the harm done to us .We all know now the Sexual Abuse messed us up, They willn't listen to us the 20,30,40,50,60 year old men.
However it we talk about todays 7yo , 11yo and 14 year old boy being ABUSED then they will LISTEN. Tom
 
I can tell you from experience that writing to your congressman is pretty much a waste of effort. They have their opinions and that's the end of it.

When you are on the short end of the stick then you will not get much notice politically.

Male sexual abuse is about as popular to talk about as homosexuality or same sex marriage. All of them are lost causes.

Cheers.

Jim
 
I am trying to help by being very open about my SA. I refuse to be ashamed or embarrassed about it. I won't shout it from the rooftops, but if we don't talk about it, who will know? We're the lucky ones. We are talking about it and beginning the healing process...some of the luckier of us are finished or nearly finished with the process, although I know "healing" means different things to different people.

I think I've said this before, but I'm going to teach a class on male SA at my church. I won't focus on any of the actual abuses, but will try to paint a picture of how really serious this situation is and just how many men and boys are abused at some time during their lives. I think the statistics will be quite shocking to someone who has no idea that male SA exists to any appreciable degree.

Also, I will describe the damage to a life that is done by SA. My T thinks SA is an epidemic right now and so does the minister of my church. No one ever mentions it, however. I intend to mention it. At least, if no action is taken, no one in my church will be able to say, "I had no idea."
 
I guess my take on this would be that unless I manage to find the strength and the courage to overcome the effects of sexual abuse, then what do I really have to offer anyone else?

The politicians, ministers, parents, teachers and the public at large already face an incredible array of seemingly intractable problems.

To add the sexual abuse of men and boys to that list of 'what's wrong in the world that can't be fixed' might help some, but I doubt it.

That's why I choose to place the focus on my recovery from the effects of the sexual abuse.

If instead of just bringing another unfixable problem to the attention of the world, I can by my words and example show them that it is possible to overcome this terrible trauma, then I will be able to show them something that will catch their attention and maybe fire their enthusiasm.

If you want to fix the world, start with yourself, is my motto. Of course there is need for group efforts etc. But the foundation of any collective undertaking will always be the individual.

And the only individual that I can really have any hope of changing is MYSELF.

Actions speak louder than words. If by my deeds I can show others that it is possible to recover from sexual abuse, then so many more will be encouraged to admit, share and overcome what has happened to them.

No need to cast our future to the hands of the politicians (wow, that's a scary thought) or anyone else.

We have the power within each of us to change the world; and together we can do it. But not by next week; and probably not without a lot of personal hard work and sacrifice and love.

And it must begin with me.

Just my deux centimes worth,
 
I agree that it would be nice if people in authority and the media in general would place greater emphasis on the realities of abuse.

I recently sent an e-mail to the newspaper that I read on a daily basis. I didn't hold back in my comments to them.

Reason for e-mail (don't know if you got this in the USA media).

Prince harry went to a private party wearing what appeared to be a nazi uniform (not because he is a nazi, more because he made a stupid mistake).

The newspaper dedicated the first 13 pages to this issue. Tucked away on page 39 (half page spread)was an article about a serial paedophile, who's 'worst' crime was raping a girl of between the ages of 4-6 (he wasn't choosy about age/sex). The life sentence reffered to a term of 25 years, but it was commented on in court that he could apply for release after something like 3 years.

Yet another article in the same paper (around page 20) indicated that a member of our government (Charles Clark) thought that jail sentences should be reduced, or that alternative punishments should be issued if the jails were too full.

My e-mail remonstrated with editorial policy, 13 pages of downmarket sensationalism v 2 real issues that could have been amplified.

I suggested that they could have shown real jounalistic calibre, if they had linked the sentencing of a paedophile with the article about not jailing criminals. Would the government not have wanted to jail that pervert if the jails had been full.

They didn't print my article, although they did respond.

I realise that Prince Harry could have upset a lot of people, as the nazis were obviously one of the most despicable group of inhumans that have ever walked the earth. I stated however that I doubted anyone would take their own life because of his actions. That paedophile though has many victims & who knows what lies ahead for them.

A year ago I would not have dared to send an e-mail of this nature to a national paper - I found it very easy to send this one. If I need to, I will send more!

Best wishes ...Rik
 
I have spent the better part of that last two years writing the Federal and Provincial Government here it Ontario without a whole lot of success. Well to be honest, no success. I have come up hard against beaurocracy and it does not want to deal with this. Nor, I think, do the politicians. Will this bring them accolades or re-election from society. No damned way.

For god's sake here in Ontario the Provincial Government has passed legislation to ban pit bulls because so many people have been horribly injured by them. Now if one in 6 males are abused and the population of Ontario is 12million of which 6million would me males that would make 6 million males living with sexual abuse. I doubt in the past 5 years 600 people had been horribly mauled by a pit bull. I would further wager that there are more than 600 instances of sexual abuse a day. Where is the justice????

THERE IS'T ANY. Society does not want to assist with this problem in any way. I think it is because so many of society are abusers. I mean it is not gay men or women who abuse but the so called normal straight society.

Do you see Jany Leno, David Letterman, Oprah Winfrey or any other commentator taking this up as an important cause. I look and the field is empty.

And yes we do make up a huge voting block world wide. But remember we hide in our shame and guilt. We are huge but we are also invisible except to ourselves.

GOD DAMMIT THAT MAKES ME FURIOUS. Sorry for the rant.
 
Association with a cause implies close experience. Politicians avoid us because society sees male rape victims as damaged goods. Advocacy for our cause might suggest the representative had personal experience of the phenomenon. That isnt going to happen.

What can you do? Run for political office. Prove that you are not damaged goods. Write letters to the editor of your local news paper demanding attention to this issue. Open up and tell the truth publically.

You are quite right. They dont care. And they never will until you force them to look at the problem. Every other minority has been able to muster the power to assert its rights. Where are we?

Hiding in the shadows, just like they use to do. The more often you speak out and the more forcefully you exert your intention, the greater our progress will be, and the faster.

So, what will you do when your elected officials will not carry the banner of your chosen cause? Try again and carry the banner yourself! Our elected officials are ashamed to represent us. Are we also so ashamed? I dont know about all of that. Sounds self defeating to me.

Former political office holder and current editorialist,

Aden
 
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