Post your funny stories

[Toad]

I heard an interview on NPR that was about how good it is for you to laugh.
Kids laugh 100’s of times throughout the day and many adults only every couple of weeks. I know I get too busy and worried and down to laugh. So I have been trying to remind myself to laugh, to look for funny things throughout the day.

Do you have any funny stories you can tell me?
Doesn’t have to be the funniest, just a little funny.
It doesn’t even have to have happened to you.
If you would be on the lookout for them I would really appreciate it.
Thanks.

Toad

 

[Toad]

My house.

We were dirt poor growing up. But we eventually were able to buy a house. It was cheap because no one else wanted it. It was known as the haunted house in town. And my parents cared for 2 mentally disabled who needed a home.
So all of the kids in town thought we were scary, like the Adams family.
They would dare each other to ring our doorbell and run off. They were sure my mom was a witch.

The house had quite a history, it had been built out of a torn down barn from the 1800’s, It had been a Texas Whorehouse. There were a few towns people known to have been conceived in our house.
Then it was converted into a funeral home...life and death we had the town covered.
Our house had a few interesting features, many of the inside doors were really wide and had arches, I later realized that was for the caskets.
One thing I really hated was the bathroom near my room, it had a really small uncomfortable tub. It was a short rectangle with high sides. When I was small I could take a bath in it but eventually I just took showers.
A couple years ago a woman and my mom were talking in the store. She asked if that old embalming tub was still there....
No joke. Couldn’t make it up.

 

[manipulated]

Lol. I assume you are comfortable with it given you shared and I know I am warped-always wanted a hearse of my own to drive but That IS funny Toad so long as you aren’t freaked by it.

Thank you for making me smile today.

 

[betrayed boy]

we lived in a small town the downstairs was used as a funeral parlor when needed, the only bathroom was downstairs i was prob 4 or 5 then, at night if there was a body downstairs i opened a window to pee no way was i walking past the room with a dead body in it at night, nope nope nope.

 

[Toad]

Thanks B.B.
You had me cracking up!

A hearse would be cool. My granddad had bought his casket early. Probably got a good deal on it. It was in our garage for a while. ..not long enough

 

[Toad]

Here is another story my family always laughs about...although it really isn’t funny. But we still laugh pretty hard anyway.

My Granddads brother had moved to Florida and gotten married down there. This was years ago. Well, one night his wife woke him up and said she heard someone walking on the roof trying to break into the house. He said he didn’t hear anything. But she was like no, there is someone on the roof and insisted he take his rifle and go up there and check it out to make sure they were safe. So finally he gets up and climbs up onto the roof with his gun to check it out so they can get back to sleep. About then the police pull up...
His wife had called the police and had told them that her husband was on the roof with a gun! She had him committed that night. Then she sold everything, took the money and divorced him.
He kept insisting that he wasn’t crazy. But they had found him on the roof with a gun. Finally, his former wife’s sister felt bad for him and she called my granddad and he drove down to Florida and got him out. But the poor guy had been in there for quite a while before anyone in the family found out.
And you thought you ex wife was bad...



In the end life worked out well for him. He remarried and was happily married for years. But I do think the old ex did get away with it and all of their money.

 

[Guss]

My cousin, and 2 of her gf's were riding in the front seat of her parents 57 Chevy. A car full of boys pulled up next to them at a red light, and asked them to meet them somewhere. My aunt popped up out of the back seat, and said they can't go. The boys burned rubber!

 

[iaccus]

one night on patrol, snowstorm, about 2 am we are driving down a backstreet and out of the dark we see a single headlight tracking down a path on the side of the road. The light is low and we realize it is a snowmobile. Not unsual up here. As the machine passes our squad car it passes in front of our headlights and we see there is no one on it. Cant get out and catch it, the road doesnt continue that direction. We call HPD and track it along the highway until it strays off the path and gets stuck a mile down the road. Next day a local calls asking if we have seen his machine and offers no explanation.