positive outlooks happy :)

[markgreyblue]

i find myself here - in manchester

i have closed a door -

in closing this

with a few good folks - to bounce things off -

yet also

a facing ....myself - 'how i needed to change a bit'

realize important things -

relationships -
qualities of day to day - to me

so pressured had i been to achieve this weird -

'thing'

that in the sense of it -
that took everything away from the fun of it -

life -

i am saying this - as i say it - i am free talking - i will be myself
-

that i really believe - that we are not cut and dry -

emotions in a relationshp
are more important to me at this point

in a relationship -

i have had sex -

and yes i like sex -

but at the end of the day - i need to evaluate -

and make a set of criterion for whom i want to be with -

i would choose a man - who makes me feel -

happy -

if on a clinical level - say it's someone who

makes me feel safe -

if i dissect it all -

one could say -

his job -

i like his public service -

his heatlh orientation

i like -

his values -

his passion for what he does -

and that safe feeling -

........with me -

now sensing too -

the permission to feel good - daily -

interests -

it's what i enjoy - what i like to do -

not being some "condoleeza rice" figure -

structure is important -

but i like travel -

i like and am good at design

and yes - i don't have to live in that world

of constant energy - to be willing to do either!

but knowing at the crux of it -

i am good at both - and now that's about what I

am prepped to do - at age 38 - and whereever that

will lead me - I shall try encorporating

(incorporating myself as well)

and then counsel out my services -

and direct my interests to towards those things -

not at some retarded competitive boys clubs level

but to seek out -the jobs i feel are a great

match for my inerest and tolerance level-

and preparedness

..........

i want a home life -

someone to regroup with and hopefully

have a vision of a future with

a game plan for home buying - and retirement

old age! eh? speak up!!!!

and holidays too

we'll see about all that -

but things

are

up and..........

smiling

happy day sunshines!

mgb

 

[Jaysen]

Loved reading that!

 

[markgreyblue]

thx

 

[roadrunner]

Mark,

Good for you. You are yourself a good whole person. Why should you settle for anything less in a relationship?

Much love,
Larry