Please someone answer this

[Brokenhearted]

I read Selene's thread today about her H masturbating so much -- My H used to masturbate a LOT and joked he was getting callouses on his hands. That stopped about 5 months ago and then he shut down our sex life completely and seems to have zero interest but I don't really know if he's acting out or not

So what typically happens after the compulsive masterbating time is over????????????? I am concerned.

 

[Trish4850]

BH, what do you consider compulsive? I read somewhere that the average male masturbates 3-4 times a week. OK, thats average. My b/f probably masturbates at least once a day. How do I know that? Because he's told me. It doesnt interfere with things he needs to do or we need to do, or his job or our sex life. As he puts it, its there, Im there, why not? Its a release and its pleasurable. Most men masturbate more than most women, but just about everyone does it. Its a normal, healthy part of our sexuality. Are you offended by the fact that he goes it solo instead of with you? I know that right now your sex life is non-existent, so Im not asking about now, but about before. Some women are so Im not judging, Im just asking.

ROCK ON.......Trish

 

[Brokenhearted]

Trish, I always knew he did it probably kind of a lot normally, but then it seems just this year that he's made the comment several times that he's "getting callouses" on his hands...and even though I was available, he preferred to m. instead of be w/ me...I know this because he would act interested in me only if I was heading out the door or at some other unGodly inconvenient time, almost to guarantee we wouldn't be together intimately, so he can say he "tried" but then would go do his m. which is disconnecting anyway...I know some is normal or even a lot...I just read Selene's post about how compulsive and pwerful it is for her husband, uncontrollable, really, and it made me remember my H's comment about "callouses" on his hands...and I thought, oh my God, what if he was at that place but couldn't tell me it was uncontrollable, or what has happened since? Because I don't see any signs he's doing it anymore since Father's Day...and I used to know because he would do it in the shower...so then I am thinking, well, maybe he's acting out so much that he's not *needing* to m. and I don't want to freak out. And I asked him the other night because I just can't figure it out - I asked him if his body has shut down physically or if he's still taking care of himself, and I said, "Because everyone has a drive and you have to take care of it..." He just said, "Nothing's changed...it's the same it always was..." which makes me think he's still functioning, just can't w/ me, but if he's not m. then what is he doing about it???? Or maybe he really has shut down physically and he just couldn't admit that??

Just wondering if there is a trend sort of, like they m. compulsively as my H was doing, then what happens next, does it just get more and more uncontrollable to where it's interfering with work and everything else, or till they HAVE to act out, or what. Or can it die down?

No, I totally get that m. is normal, does not bother me... just wondering about "compulsive m." which seemed what he had a few months ago. And I noticed that the "At Risk Forum" is for men who compulsively m., so I thought it might be a bad sign.