Please help

[Deejayy]

I was abused by a female when I was eight years of age. A few months after I started to dress in my mothers underwear and put on her make up when she was out. This behavior stopped up until I confessed to my wife I had been sexually abused.

I have started to wear girls underwear, jeans and shirts. I don't want to look like a women, I just like the clothes they have. You can tell i'm a guy when I have them on and I don't really look any different from a regular guy, my wife doesn't mind me doing this as long as it's in the house and not outside.

When I wear these clothes I feel secure and happy and comfortable. I wouldn't say I was a transvestite or a stereotypical cross dresser as I have no wish to look or be a woman. I just wanted to know if I'm a freak for wanting to do this; and is this normal behavior for men who were abused by females. I was also abuse by males also.

Please give me some advice so I can at least have some sort of explanation for my wife.

 

[joelRT]

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[Deejayy]

joeIRT, I don't really know. Your advice makes some sense, but I just like the way they make me feel. I feel more feminine and relaxed but also more sexually attractive also. But I just like the look and style of their clothes more than men's clothing.

Your advice has given me something to think about. Thank you.

 

[Dusty Boy]

Deejayy

Firstly let me say that what you say about female clothing really hit a chord with me.
I am not a transsexual however I have friends that are transsexuals, cross dressers and men that like to wear womens clothes and I have heard many stories as to the guilt that they have around their habits ( for the want of a better word). From what they tell me and from what I went through and what I read in your post, you are experiencing something a lot of guys go through. However most of them wont talk about it, it takes courage to do what you have done in your post and admit the feelings that you are having. My marriage broke down and I then went the drag route so that I could look and feel beautiful, mens clothes are not as attractive as womens clothes.
Dusty

 

[1islandboy]

DJ,

I think one of the most important parts of recovery is getting to the point where you are comfortable in your own skin.

As a direct result of my abuse, I have a feminine side. I like to think of it in terms of androgeny. A balancing between masculine and feminine characteristics. If I repress one side or the other, (I don't feel good...balanced) and so have decided/concluded...it is much better,to live in harmony.

I was abused 100% by males (I personally think it doesn't matter what gender the abuser is), which led me to taking on a submissive role, (and not that it's right), but in my frame of mind...relate this towards passive femininity.

What is normal behavior anyway? I want a goal that I can attain. I'm shooting for nermal. (near normal)


I want to ride my bicycle (Queen)

island

 

[dark empathy]

I streight out decided when I was about 20, --- that's just over 5 years ago, that I wasn't male, I was me.

I wear fairly androginous clothes most of the time, but love things that look decidedly dressy, --- and dare I say it, eve female.

this is one of the advantages of doing fairly serious stage performing and singing as a hobby, i get to wear costumes that I wouldn't normally in front of many people. These have included tites, ruffled shirts etc.

I've also had many dreams and fantasies of literally wearing a dress.

sinse though i was abused by both gendas, my most serious abuse happened with groups of girls, what's been said about power is sort of disturbing to me, but probably something I should think about.

i do admit though, there is also the sense that many sterriotypically female bahviours and ways of acting sute me better. I love taking care of people, --- and am even incredibly fond of looking after babies.

i have a thing about scent and always ware aftershave and cologne.

Most of all, i'm actually jealous of the female sterriotypes surrounding meeting someone your interested in, not to mention the fact that female reactions to things aren't visible where male reactions are, ---- something which caused tremendous problems during my abuse and stil frightens me a lot.

though I'd considder being male as only about as important as being five foot eight, if I was gay, i'dactually very much considder getting my genda changed just because all the social assumptions and steriotypes and around girls sute me so much better than the male ones.

Sadly I know though, sinse I am not gay this just isn't an option at all.