Same here frustrated..... I feel really weird around my nephew as well he is 4yrs. Old I cant stand being alone in my room with him like I get nervous flashbacks, irritability etc. Not alone in this matter bro thats why people look at us like we have done something wrong once we opened up to them first reaction o shoot!!! He has a high risk of doing this to my kids or just simply keep there kids away! what helped me was telling the parent of my nephew I was sexually abused open up, dont hide the beast bro,,,, Let it out let it leave your house or wherever you are imagine how much hurt were going threw and match it up with the love you have for your nephew,,, Love him more and more praise him like he is your mini me like what you wanted to be treated like at that age. we can make a difference about this myths that once sexually abused as a child ,, we will be an abuser to.. thats bull crap I never had a feeling that I have to pass the boundry from trust to abuse but the line feels really near to us do to what we experienced what I can tell you is I do understand your triggers or anxieties becouse I feel that way to,, remember its that we where taking andvantage of as a kid we have this confusing thoughts and fears but learn how to love... not hurt,,,,, love love love make your memories fade or flashbacks disapear while playing with him .. And like what I do at times is leave to where there is people around or walk out the door for a jog listen to music and understsnd why you feel the way you do... its normal for a csa survivor to feel sadness and anger while near a kid... Be strong Brah...
