Pictures

I just read Don-NY's story and it reminded me of something early in my recovery. When I was first getting a few flashes of memories, I was really questioning myself if something had really happened to me. I asked my mother to send me any pictures of me from when I was a kid. This exercise really blew me away and confirmed in my mind my abuse. It also was a trigger for bringing back most of my other memories.

I looked at pictures from 2nd grade. In those pictiures and all pictures prior to that year, I appeared to be a very happy kid. In the 3rd grade picture, I had a horrible look on my face, I had dark circles under my eyes, overall I looked like shit. In most of the pictures after that, I may have been smiling, but never looked happy like in 1st and 2nd grade.

I just started crying as I wrote that paragraph. gOD i HOPE THE mOTHERFUCKER THAT DID THIS TO ME DIED!

 

[Lloydy]

WillP
they say every picture tells a story, and it's true.
My favourite picture is of me at age 10, dressed as a pirate at a boy scout jamboree, laughing and playing with the other pirates. Unaware of what was to come so soon after.

It's a treasure to me, I can't bear to look at the ones taken later.

Be strong Will.
Lloydy

 

[mrsunshineguy]

Hi WillP,

Same, same, same . . . as far the pix go.

I had kept all mine sort of buried, along with any thing from back then in a big steel work box, buried in our warehouse. About three birthdays ago, while working through this stuff, I decided to "rescue" me from that big steel box.

At midnight (soon as I could) on my birthday, I was cutting the lock off, and getting everything out. By 4:00 am, I found myself with everything spread around me, sitting cross-legged on the floor, crying my eyes out.

Later I was thinking it was the worst birthday I ever gave myself. Now I am pretty glad I made it and made me out of the box.

(My experience only . . . as far as perps dying) Most I have seen have pretty miserable lives to live. Independent of them, it seems the most important thing is that we live our lives well, either through the abuse, or in spite of it.

And a Big Hi to little WillP, from little Sunshine guy.

See you,

Sunshine

 

[cards]

Many of my pictures after that had happened to me i was smiling, and laughing. But thats because i had blocked it out of my mind till 14 years later. But i had something to remind me a bit of what had happened. Some mtv show about people who had been molested. And thats when my facial expression in pictures has been rather plain looking. Like i dont want to smile. Still dont. Just looks rather fake.