Phone Call or Letter

Phone Call or Letter
M

Muldoon

Registrant
I am moving forward to find other victims of abuse by Father Ryan and Father Ferguson in Hastings during the 1950s and 1960s.

This is my question guys, Phone Call or Letter???

We are all victims of abuse and if some one was trying to get information on your Abuser would you rather get a letter or phone call.

As the person asking the questions I see pro and con to both.

I think I would rather get a letter if someone was seeking information from me.

Thanks Tom
 
Tom,

Wow, what a tough one. The down side of a phone call is that it's so sudden and there is no way to verify who's calling, but the problem with a letter is that it can get set aside and neglected.

A letter, on the other hand, would enable you to say exactly what you want, and you could include a copy of whatever you have from the Archdiocese that might show that your queries are legit.

I think I would opt for the letter.

Much love,
Larry
 
I have one problem with a letter. What if you haven't disclosed to a significant other (wife/girlfriend/parter,etc) and they open the mail by mistake or something.

This is a tough one.
 
JTT
I would label it personal and confidential and send it priority mail. I would put a sealed evevolpe inside so that any one would have to open it twice.

A phone call could be hard for someone to handal. Just don't know. Tom

{edited for spelling Tom}
 
Tom,

My first reaction was to say send a letter explaining what you are doing, enclosing whatever documentation you want. Alert the party that you may be following up with a phone call in a week or two.

Gives them time to think about it and get used to the idea.

Downside is that it may also give them time to decide to send you packing...

I wish you peace as continue your quest.

John

PS - Have you tried contacting survivors in other Archdiocese who have already been through the process?
 
I think phone is better if preceed by a letter, which could be an open ended letter, not saying that we know you are a victim, just soliciting info about the victims of Father R.
That way we would be respecting the privacy of other abuse victims and give them comfortable time and space to respond.

Because only when an abused child feels comfortable and trusting he opens up. So our first job should be to get their trust. So that in his own time he can come forward and open up to you.
This why this site work perfectly, we all come in, feel comfortable, safe and then we just go off! Why not, make it into a mailer about this site. That would help them more, I believe that is what you ultimately want, healing for all.
 
Does the post office or Fedex offer a service that they only provide the letter/package to a designated person, requiring id and a signature. This would work around the issue of someone unintended to opening and reading the letter.

I'd go with a general letter and follow-up phone call. Just indicating your asking questions about the priest would raise a red flag what it may be about it.

Courage-Wisdom-Spirituality
 
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