Phobias and triggers

[bey]

I am dealing with pretty severe triggers / phobic reactions lately, about a specific thing. I've had this issue since I was a kid, but I've gone through periods where it isn't so bad. And times where it's worse, like now. My heart races, I sweat, anxiety goes through the roof, I can get sick, dissociate, cry, it feels like I'm going to explode. The problem is the thing that triggers this reaction is something you see all the time, it would be like being triggered by hats (it's not hats, by the way). People talk about their hats, wear them out and about, and you would have to be around them and ideally not throw up any time you saw one. It's to the point now that even reading the word is hard.
I've been working on this at therapy a lot, mostly around desensitization stuff, but also processing the why of it, which is slow going. So I'm not totally on my own with this, but I guess my question is how do you deal with intense reactions to being triggered, and also how do you deal with being triggered by things in everyday life and still be a part of the world? It feels like just staying inside all the time would be so much easier, but I'd run out of groceries eventually.

 

[Castle]

It's my understanding, Emdr therapy is very useful in this type of situation.

It's also my understanding it can be quite intense, but friends of mine, and some aquiantances have had good success with it.

Make sure it's done with a skilled clinician.

Good luck.

 

[dark empathy]

I have a similar problem I am genophobic, I even find reading or hearing the word s/x difficult. My most common reaction is to freeze, go gnumb, but there are occasions I've literally run off, cried, had nightmares etc.
There is no answer, it's just something I need to live with, or rather it's just something else! I need to live with.

As to being a part of the world? Well it's made pretty clear to me every single day that I'm not, so why would I want to be. The world can go to hell as far as I am concerned.

 

[bey]

Thanks Castle and DE,
i talked to my therapist today and he has reservations on the emdr with me but asked me to speak with my psych dr, which i will do. otherwise we are going to just keep doing what we are doing, which is mostly CBT kind of things to get a handle on it. and i remind myself that it waxes and wanes and the intensity will fade too. its hard to remember that when you're in the weeds, but i will keep trying.
ben

 

[bluesky]

Hi Ben
I have a phobia that was and does drive me crazy. It is hard to talk about and I feel shame about it. I had to at one point cope with it with an OCD reaction I was going crazy. It is a bit better and as I work on my trauma story it is less intense but I still get triggered. The OCD made me feel in control in a wired way but I was really out of control. Thanks for bringing this up and I think you are doing great I remember you early posts and how you have grown so here is my ovation to you Ben. Keep your head up and thanks.
Bluesky

 

[txb]

Im sorry that you are dealing with this. Ive done some work off and on over this kind of stuff with my therapist, but never really stuck with it long enough to resolve anything. I was talking to someone recently, who told me he was having massive anxiety over driving. And he works as a driver. So its not like just doing whatever you are scared of helps you get over it. My therapist told me that the most important thing was learning to manage your anxiety. Doing relaxation techniques really helps to lower your anxiety, which seems to make stuff easier to deal with. I always think all this relaxation stuff sounds really wimpy, but it did work pretty well for me when I actually tried it. This is also another wimpy sounding thing, but it did help me Id imagine myself in the scary situation but me handling it well and being calm and stuff. I suppose its called positive visualisation or something? That helped me. Sometimes its really irritating all the work you have to put in on this stuff... CBT does have a lot of useful techniques, so I hope you find something that helps.

I also wanted to add something to one of your other posts about not being able to talk about certain stuff, but Ill just add it on here instead of bumping it back up. I had the same problem. There was this one thing I considered to be the worst thing that happened to me. Its not something youd ever want anyone to know about you. I made a post about it, last month I think (not talking about it, but complaining about my not being able to talk about it). Im not sure why I wanted to talk about it, but it seemed like it was holding me back by not talking about it. So I talked to my therapist about it. Not like it was just as easy as that. I didnt exactly talk about it in a way I would have liked to either, but whatever, I still did it. This had been a huge thing Id been worrying about for months. Years even. I was pretty happy that Id actually done it, but then I felt pretty depressed about it. Once you say something you cant get it back again and have it unheard. My therapist sent me a pretty nice follow up email though, and now, weeks later I actually feel pretty good about it. Well, not like I feel any better about the thing that happened, but I just feel more free from dragging this whole big secret thing around. It's like the people who did this stuff to you still have some kind of hold on you when you have to keep things secret, but speaking about it breaks that. So for me it really was worth it to talk about it.

 

[bey]

Thanks bluesy and txb.
I have been feeling really crazy about this whole thing, and the reaction is getting very OCD and extreme, and that sucks. It does make me feel more in control of the anxiety but totally out of control of my life. Sometimes its hard to know which is worse!
the phobia thing and the can't-talk-about-it thing are of course the same thing, from the same event. so i assume helping one issue will help the other. talking about it would be good, but i'm not there yet. but i've mentioned it, some people know, and thats a start i suppose.
benny

 

[Bardo]

txb and bey,
I have found a cycle in my recovery, where after every disclosure of some kind to my T, I have a pretty severe down cycle. It is like my need to keep the secrets is reacting to my disclosure and fighting back, if you will, with depression. After a few days the depression lifts and I feel much better for having opened that door. It is a wild ride, but I am happy that I am finally on it after 40 years. Keep at it!

Freeman