Petiphile Got out of Jai;l

Petiphile Got out of Jai;l
C

Craig

Registrant
Hi All,

my name is Craig and I was abused when I was 10 or 11 years old in 1971 or 2. When that happened I submitted testimony in court and the man went to jail. Though he didn't go to jail for me, he went for the other people in my family and the other family that were affected. My dad went to visit him while the man was in jail. He came home with a cutting board that the guy made for him. SICK SICK SICK!!! Well anyway he went to jail for about a year or so then when he got out my DAD invited him to the house where he tried again that very night with my brother Wayne. After that we didn't see him. Then in my 20s in 1986 we saw this mans picture in the paper still doing the same thing!! He went back to jail for 14 years he got out 1/08/2004 yes just rcently. I looked him up and he is in a hotel in a town close by me. I can't believe he is out of jail. By the way did I say that plee bargaining meant I guess he didn't do anythinig to me!! I wish when you plee bargain it went out of my memory. NO PLEE BARGAINING in the molestation of children!!!!! I don't know what to do with this situation. It's killing me in mny ways. One of which is I know he will offend again. I wrote the John Walsh Show in hopes to expose him and possibly find some more of his victoms and start to heal and let it be known who this man is. He took away my childhood and I think he does not deserve to be left alone. He should be branded on his forehead what he is so children like myself could run the other way ... Someone HELP!!! Any comments??????
 
Hi Craig. Welcome to MaleSurvivor. I am sorry for what has brought you here but am very glad that you have found us.

I feel you pain through your post.
NO PLEE BARGAINING in the molestation of children!!!!! I don't know what to do with this situation. It's killing me in mny ways. One of which is I know he will offend again. I wrote the John Walsh Show in hopes to expose him and possibly find some more of his victoms and start to heal and let it be known who this man is.
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Craig I agree on the plea bargaining 1000%. Now this situation is killing you and I can see your reasons. But Craig the important thing is for you to heal and be the man you were meant to be. You have written to the John Walsh Show and really that is all you can do legally.

He took away my childhood and I think he does not deserve to be left alone. He should be branded on his forehead what he is so children like myself could run the other way
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Yes Craig that has happened to us all. The evil of sexual abuse has taken away our childhood. Or I like to think that it has made the little us afraid to come out for fear of betrayal again. I have found that what is so important for me is to heal by accepting the facts of the past and changing my feelings around it. It was not my fault, never was and never will be. I am a far better man that my perps could ever be. I have worth and I will make damned sure that I will actually live life instead of merely passing through it.

I know that this probably does not help you too much. But I welcome you on the road with us.

You will find no judgement or denial here. You will only find compassion, caring, strong shoulders. These are the attributes of true brotherly love. Now you are one of us my brother.
 
My main fear right now is that he will offend again where he is at. I don't want any other child to loose their childhood at the hands of this MONSTER!!
 
Craig - I'm so sorry to hear that you share the same pain as the rest of us here but I'm glad you found a good place to share. Keep doing that.

I understand your fear that he may abuse other children, seems more often than not, pedophiles keep abusing for as long as they can.

One thing you can do other than writing the John Walsh show is to notify the local police that this man is freshly out of prison, tell them where he is staying. In all likelyhood, one of the conditions for his release would be to notify the local police anyway. If he has, they are probably doing all they can to keep an eye on him. If he has not, surely they will want to know.

After you've notified the police, you can feel satisfied that you have done all you can (legally) to protect children in the area. Then keep coming back here. You don't have to be alone anymore.
I wish you Peace.
 
Craig,

Any comments??????
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Here's one. Take care of yourself.

It's a damn shame what happened to you. But the shame belongs on the perp. If he is out of jail and you have done all that you legally can do, then do not torment youself.

Follow up on Sinking's suggestion to be sure he is complying with the terms of his release, the local sex offender registration laws, etc. But you can only be responsible for your own life. If any of us tried to take responsibility for all the wrongs done by those who abused us, we'd go crazy.

I hope that you have a support system for yourself. Have you had a chance to talk about this with a counselor or therapist? It should have been one of the first things people did for you in 1971, but from your description of your father's behavior I wonder if you got what you needed.

There are a lot of folks here who know what hell it is to live with the memories and reactions to sexual abuse. Just knowing that my reactions were the "typical" responses to this has made a lot of difference for me. People can understand what it's like.

So do what you can, but don't feel responsible to do more than that. Please, be gentle with yourself.

Thanks,

Joe
 
I don't know wxactly what to say. It seems that I can't let him perp another child I just think that is the right thing to do. I feel that in my soul. No i didn't get help for that in the 70s. No one offered it amd my parents really didn't give a shit I see now. Hey if my father goes to see this man in jail after the fact that's pretty screwed up don't you think... My mother allthough not agreeing with the situation went with him upstate. No help.... But i talk to my friends about it alot. Many people can't understand that it is in your mind 24 hours a day 7 days a week and it just stays there. Some people say ahh just froget about it and move on that was in the past. Talk to you soon, Craig
 
How about the fact that sometimes you think that when you tell someone they will think that you are going to keep the chain going? I always feel guilty about a lot of things Gpoing into the store i feel like I have to buy something or someone is looking at me like i stole something. When ever I see a Older man with a child I think that man is a petiphile. I feel guilty if I'm trying to talk to my neighbors kids with my kids around and the parents around and think they think I'm looking at them in a sexual way when that can't be the furthest from the truth... Is that normal to think like that??? IT SUCKS MAN IT SUCKS How to deal??
 
Craig - I feel the same way sometimes. When I am around children I deliberately keep my distance. I am terrified that I might be wrongly accused of something I would never, ever do. I always make sure I am not around kids unless there is another adult around. My family and close friends know me well and would actually prefer that I watch their children than someone else. They know I love kids and would never do anything to hurt one...in fact I would go out of my way to help a child. It's pretty sad, the keeping my distance part, but I feel safer that way.

Your parents are obviously in denial and a pretty bad case of it at that. You say you didn't get help then...might I suggest that it's time to find some now. This doesn't need to be in your head 24/7, it will for a while, especially when you first start your recovery. But we can make sense of it all and then learn how to exist in a way that it doesn't dominate our lives, our thoughts. Seems like you're in a place where you can take a look at it now, maybe the asshole who did what he did being released was your 'trigger'. Take the ball and run with it, no time like the present.

I'm glad you came back here and posted some more. Keep doing that. You'll see just how alike we all are, just how supportive we all can be, just how much you can learn and heal simply by reading and sharing here. And thanks, by the way, for sharing. It truly helps us all understand things better.
Peace
 
Hey Craig! Welcome to the board! Glad you posted because it means you are speaking and reaching out!! I am very sorry for how you were treated as a result of your abuse...never having the opprtunity to heal and speak out about what it did/does to you. Unfortunately, you were abused during the "dark ages" of male sexual abuse! It's less than 20 years that anyone took males being sexually abused seriously. It was only because the women's movement began keeping stats that male sexual abuse emerged as a possible problem. We are really pioneering the education and treatment in this field. You and all of us here are, I believe, pioneers who will help succeeding generations be able to speak out, reach out and make a significant difference.

The guys have given some good suggestions. Especially I want to underscore taking care of yourself. The feelings and symptoms you were left with don't just go away on their own. I hope you have a therapist, support group and/or a good support system to work through these issues!

Take care of yourself!!! For sure!!

Howard
 
No, No support group as of yet. Don't know if i could handle that. I am thinking about it. In Feruary 5th New York Newsday there's a headline that reads Molester Gets 2 years in Jail... NOT ENOUGH!!! Look it up at newday.com Long Island edition.. I want to spearhead some laws with some help.. When a woman gets raped they go to jail sometimes for life.. When a child get molested and raped and you know what happens and what your forced to do I don't have to explain it to you the perps only get anywhere from 2 to 14 years and there back on the road to ruin more lives... That sucks bad!!!!!
 
Lets all try to get John Walsh to recognise the problems in these matters. www.johnwalsh.tv Let him know what we think. He seems to be a protector of children. Although he hasn't written me back. I have written to the show many times with no response. Someone has to change the laws... To many lives ruined!!!
 
Craig,

Like the rest of the brothers, I am so sorry that this happened to you. It happens to too many kids out there.

My abuser (childhood) is still out there because he terrorized me into repressing the memories. My adult rapist is out there because I did the same thing. There are days in which I cannot help thinking about other lives I could've helped if I told on these monsters.

Then there are the others in which I remember that there was nothing I could do. I was in fear of my life and I just wanted to hold onto my sanity. I did what I could. And Craig, you did what you could.

That you have to deal with your father supporting this creep and him getting out, well, I hear you. I wish these @$$holes could be branded, castrated, locked in cages so we can throw rocks and s**t at them. The best we can hope for is reach out to those who were hurt and help when we can. And not to be afraid to reach out when you need it.

Brother, I'm here for you, as is everyone else. I can;t wait to see what you'll contribute, because you have a lot to say and I want to hear it.

Peace and love, Craig. No strings attached.

Scot
 
Craig - glad you've found us because at least here you will have a lot of support.

The problems with letting perps out of jail, even if they go there in the first place is similar in the UK.

Over here, they currently have to register as sex offenders with the local police, but they can freely move from town to town so long as the police are informed. The general public are not entitled to know if a paedophile moves into the area. It's politically correct nonsense that allows them to start the grooming process again in a different location.

Like I said, come here for support, it's the one place you can be sure of it!

Best wishes and welcome ...Rik
 
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