Perverted justice... Any would do!

[mark250676]

My abuser was just under the legal age when he abused me.

Therefore I've been told I can't talk to the police. I can't get legal justice.

My mum and dad still live next door to his parents. I want my kids to have a relationship with my parents but it tears my heart apart everytime I go there.

I've tried to talk to them but they don't get it. I've got a nephew the same age as when I was abused and if anyone violated him like that I would punish them to the full extent.

I've fought to get a family. A job as a social worker. To try to rebuild my relationship with my parents and sisters but the only way I can see to get justice would be to break the law and risk losing it all.

It's a catch 22 and I'm not strong enough.

 

[roadrunner]

Mark,

It's the law that says you can't take legal action against your abuser. Your parents aren't a party to that, so I would leave them out of that part of the problem.

On the other hand, you have every right to tell your parents that the parents of the guy who abused you live right next door to them. You also have the right to expect that they should believe you, understand that this is a serious matter, and offer you their full support. You might also ask them where they think the abuser got the idea of molesting you. It may have been at home, and his abuser may have been one of his parents.

MOST importantly, they need to know that your first responsibility is to your family, not to their need/desire to keep up appearances with the neighbors. If you are not 100% convinced that they at least believe you, support you, and accept the reality of the danger from next door, then they cannot possibly expect you to come there and sit around in front of the house where your perp lived and where his abuser(s) may still live. Likewise, they cannot possibly expect you to allow your own children to visit them or stay there if you are not also there to protect them. And even then, if you go this is a huge concession on your part.

If they complain that you are using the children to blackmail them, you can reject that and tell them they are welcome to visit you anytime. It really is a matter that responsible parents don't put their kids in harm's way. If your parents don't think there's any danger, fine. It's not their children who are in question here and not them to bear responsibility for these kids.

They have to choose: the parents of your abuser or their own family and grandchildren.

Much love,
Larry

 

[lostcowboy]

Hi Mark, here is my take on it, If you know the person who did this, and you are able to do it. I would go ahead and report him to the police. Let the police investigate it. Maybe the person that told you that he was just under the legal age may be right, or wrong. But by telling the police they should investigate it, pull him in for questioning. If nothing else it will let the bastard know that he is now on the police radar screen, and he had better watch his ass.

Also if you know who it is you can sue them in civil court I would think.
But do what is most important for you. Keep safe.

Take care,
Clifford