perpetrator's birthday

[bec]

hello men:

i have some things i need to share. today is my mother's birthday. she emotionally incested me for 30+ yrs. it is difficult to call her my perpetrator but she was. and she refuses to face the truth.

i confronted her and she went silent. i recomended the book THE EMOTIONAL INCEST SYNDROME to her. she claimed she tried to read it but became ill and stopped. i didn't mention VICTIMS NO LONGER by ?mike lew? if she cant read the other i don't know how she could handle the book by lew.

i am feeling hurt, sad. my heart is heavy. every son need be able to trust his parents and feel safe around them. but for some of us, this is only a dream.

a year ago i spoke to her over the phone and it seemed clear she was trying to manipulate/control me during a vulnerable time i was going through.

i do not trust her or feel safe near her. i do not plan on calling her today. i just want to be left alone.

what is extra tough is the fact that my 15 yr old nephew is living with her temporarily while his parents sell their home. i hope and pray that he will not be harmed by her the way i was. he appears to be stronger than i was at his age which is very good news. but, it is still tough for me not to worry.

so, i am struggling today and will do my best to get through the day.

i always deserved a better mother than her. i do not deserve to suffer over her. i emotionally incested NO child. i did nothing wrong. i was only a child when she harmed me. SHE bears the responsibility. that is all i have men. sincerely,


bec

 

[FormerTexan]

bec,

I hear you on that one. My mother put me in positions no child should be put in. Here was this woman raising me and she was doing all this wrong stuff in front of me or to me. A boy is supposed to be safe with his mother, not looking for a plan B that doesn't exist. I'm sad about what she put you through. right now I don't want to even be around my mother. The last time we talked on the phone, I got this line of "when are you coming to see me and your father? We aren't gonna live forever." The guilt trip didn't work on me. I'll go in my own good time. The truth is, I don't wanna be around her at all, especially right now.

 

[Leosha]

Bec,

yes, you are right, you didn't emotionally incest anyone. You have done no wrong. Absolutely.

I hope that your nephew is going to be safe there. You may not want to say anything about it to him. But maybe, in different ways, let him know that you are there for him, open to talk of anything he need. Keep the communication open for him? Is just a thought.

Wishing you well.

leosha