Perpetrator gets off, boy gets life

So it is down to putting my body and soul on the line, once more, in the attempt to get help. Must it be this way when I feel so alone? Where is the life? Where is ones selves freedom? I am stuck in a hole that I cant get out of. Will ones selves life ever be some thing other than this? I do not see a light at the end of the road. Where dose this road lead too, with the understanding the future is what society makes it. Must there be so much fear on this road? Fear flows through me. It hits me. It beats me. It rapes me. Fear is all around me. If I should not fear, why am I scared? I watch fear as the pangolin swings before my eyes and time flies faster than ones selves mind. Is ones self really that dirty and coated in filth? I look up to the sun so bright to clean this off of ones self, but I dont have the light to see why you hurt ones self or the light to make ones self pure. I see you in my mind at night. I am always reminded when I sleep of how you hurt ones selves body, mind and sprit. Then you say unto ones self you are the cause of this. Trying to tell me this is my fault. Is it? Some where in the nigh I shine a light on the path of my life, but I cant see the light of night. Why do ones selves dreams, fears, and hurt last for so long, even after the hated ones are long gone? I feel as if Im way down here in the dark. Can anyone see me from up there? The feelings are here. They trigger my mind and make ones self fear to relief. I feel some times theres nothing left to raise my sprit. Im fashionably sensitive but to scared to care. In the morning I pick up the paper. Im looking for my reason and I try to hunt for my place in this society, a place stolen from ones self so long ago. I read about boys being used and more trouble hearts forming. I sicken and greave their pain. For, I have been there before. My angle has pulled me from my wreckage against my silent reverie. Now Im in the arms of the angles from earth. Maybe, with their help, I can find some comfort here. I hang on every word said, from your heart, for this I hear, for this I know. Perpetrator gets off, boy gets life.

by blake_sanders_1999

 

[Lloydy]

Blake

Perpetrator gets off, boy gets life.

That's how it seemed to me a few years ago, but I reclaimed my life, I clawed it back from abusers who'd had it for 31 years.

My perps will have to live the knowledge of their evil for just as long as I will live with the memories of that evil.
The difference is that through therapy and some hard personal work I can now live with my memories.

Dave

 

[Sinking]

Blake - Your pain is palpable, I feel it from where I sit. And it seems to has lasted forever. And it seems like it will last forever, but it won't. Because you are pouring out your soul. You are releasing the pain through your words and tears. Every little bit that you let out will lead to your relief, will lead to your finding who you are and who you are meant to be. There is a light, I've seen it. I'm living it. A year and a half ago I felt lost in the depth of the darkness you feel lost in now. Your friends here will help you find your way out, I will if I can. The mere fact that you are here speaks volumes about where you can go next. Try not to let them, the evil ones, continue to hurt you. It has been said that the best form of revenge is living a good life. You can win now. You, the grown man, are now rescuing the boy inside who has suffered for so long. You are feeling his pain, you are taking all of this on because he was too young and small and vulnerable to handle it when it happened. You are becoming your own savior. When the angels reach down to pull you from the wreckage, hold on tight, let them provide you with the comfort their arms offer, you deserve it. We all deserve to find some comfort in this world. You will find yours too. If you want, PM me. I'm a good listener. I wish you peace. - John