Peace and Quiet ?

Peace and Quiet ?
J

John Oarc

Registrant
Searching for peace of mind through relaxation techniques or meditation does seem nice but I am afraid that I could not handle an empty brain, free floating over still waters or whatever they do. The funny thing is that when my mind gets to that point (things are going good) it has time to think about all the bad and that is when I tend to look for things to do (keep my mind off the bad) e.g. I can turn a calm relaxing day into a mind boggling project. Relationships can also become too good, quit and peaceful, nothing is going wrong and all of the sudden you unknowingly begin looking for things to screw it up. It is difficult to handle the good when all we have known is the bad. We tend to mess things up before they can mess up on their own, it gives us more control, we had no control over the abuse and to be in control, in a way, we unknowingly guide our minds like this "I'll be damned if I want be in control of the rest of the abuse I inflict on myself." The movie "Two For The Money" has a lot of good statements in it in regards to what I am so desperately trying to get out of my head and on to this post. I am getting better about accepting this new life I am living and I do enjoy it but it is not easy trusting that I will not get my ass slammed again, and it will get slammed again by something out of my control and I understand that but I don't like it. Control thing again.

Nice being back here at MS. I missed all of you.
 
John,

I smiled when I read this, since I am an expert at this sort of avoidance tactic, procrastination, or whatever it is. And if you have been doing this sort of thing for years, it's difficult to break out of old habits and genuinely appreciate how much better things can be. I guess we just have to stick with it. At the moment, when I try to relax and just enjoy my life I still find myself fidgeting and looking for something to "do".

Much love,
Larry
 
John,

I was much better at relaxation than I am now.
Anything to do with it, from listening to birds in forests to real ambient music, I have it all.

I could imagine myself being free, and it did me a power of good, just relaxing with candles at night and just feeling like nothing is out to hurt can be so relaxing.

Find some time to do it,

ste
 
Thanks ste,

I am putting this on my to do list, I know it is good for you I just have a hard time relaxing and getting to a quiet place.

May have something to do with the fact that I was quiet and happy with everything the night the perp climbed into bed. Maybe I am afraid of that happening again so I keep everything full blown.

It always helps to talk this stuff over with you guys.

Thanks,
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top