pattern emerging

[Brayton]

My worst times seem be be late Mondays and early Tuesdays.

This is a simple coincidence since we leave the country and return to the city on Mondays and I start my work week on Tuesdays.

In the country, I have to interact with very few people and spend a lot of time outdoors doing simple, almost playful things that I really enjoy. The pace is slow and I set it, going from thing to thing as I like.

At work, I have to interact with quite a few people and am dealing with deadlines almost constantly. Being hear takes some time but don't know what I'd do without it.

I like the city, even think I am an urban kind of guy, but there is little nature to interact with, a lot of noise and rush and I work in a windowless space.

My hurt child part comes forward Monday on our way back to the city. I am confined in the car and feel very bad. Also, the extremely negative judging part comes forward. The child-part and the judging part and another protective part all battle with one another for supremacy.

I got nauseous in the car yesterday from the turmoil. It is all within and not visible but is horrible inside. I am so tired of the cycle.

Is this the way it is always going to be?--I have to wonder. Can I last much longer in this situation. My escapes all seem too brief and the intrusions long and hard to bear.

 

[Muldoon]

I am so glad that you don't have to drive back into the city. Can you read or write when you are riding in the car. If you can journal in the car it may help you.

I have my bad time when i go back out of town on Monday after seeing my T. I will think about you and send my good power your way. Tom

 

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[Leosha]

It is good that you can see the pattern I guess. Sometime it can help to make changes if we do see a pattern. But it is hard when it is something so hard to change. Can you cut down more on work, to have more 'three day' weekends? to spend more time in country? Or other things? Or is there way to put yourself more at peace when you are in the city, but not at work? I just hope that you can find something so that the majority of your time is good, and peaceful, not upsetting to you. Good luck.

Leosha