Pain and Spirituality

Pain and Spirituality
G

Garion

Registrant
I'm finally reaching out to others to help with the pain I'm going through and I don't know how to do it.

I watched a movie (Mysterious Skin) and i've been a walking raw nerve since. I've been crying all the time.

I've recently gone to my UU Minister and she suggested an "8 day" residency program for abuse victims. I don't know If I could handle that, but my concern is right now. I'm in pain and don't know how to handle it.

no one aound me realizes the pain i'm going through. Even my partner doesn't quite get it. I'm practiced at the deception of being happy but I think even that facade is crumbling.

I've been in recovery from alcohol and in therapy and it seemed to work for a while. Decided to focus on my spirituality. It's all I got left.

Need to learn and understand what i'm goin' through and if anyone has had experience with a residency program for abuse recovery.

Thanks,
Garion
 
Garion,

Some comments from myself and a few other guys are on your other posting of this topic in the "Male Survivors" forum.

Much love,
Larry
 
Larry,

Still learning about message boards. I didn't know where it ended up so I copied it to here.

See my response.

Garion.
 
I don't have an experience in a abuse program but feel if it is structured well, it could be a good place for you. You would have some time to get away from the normal life stressors, have time to focus on you and continue the process of talking, feeling, expressing and discovery that is part of the healing process.

So, I would say go for it, be patient with yourself, allow the past to come up as it is ready and do the best you can to feel it,express it and do the grieving that we all need to do.

Know your cared for and keep in touch.

Ron
 
Garion;
Except for smoking I have never dealt with an addiction, but sympathize with you. I know the severe and raw pain of just dealing with my past as well as the present. I found therapy to be a crucial asset, for it helped me walk through all the phases I needed to deal with. I still battle with pain, both physically (due to a condition I have) and emotionally (for there are still elements of my abuse I have yet to deal with.) I read your post and my heart goes out to you. I will pray that you find the strength and courage to deal with what you are now going through. Know you always have support here. Personally I would always be willing to talk should you need a shoulder to lean on. I wish you true happiness and peace.
 
Thank you all for your support.

I wanted the pain to go away "yesterday" but I'm realizing it's going to take time. I just can't put it back in the "closet" this time. I have to bring it out and beat it around for a while. Maybe the pain will diminish with time.

From everything I read, it seems that I must forgive my abuser. I CAN'T! I can't even consider it right now. I don't know if there is a way to heal without forgiving but I don't think I'm ready to forgive so I'll try to heal in other ways. I guess i'm just not strong enough, spiritual enough, or good enough yet to do it.

I'll keep trying.
Warmest regards to all. Be strong for me and maybe someday I can return the favor.
Garion
 
Hi Garion;
I can sympathize with the feeling of wanting that "pain" to go away. The aching feeling feels as if it eats you up inside. Personally, I worked with a therapist for several years, and he helped me travel through the various steps it takes to set one free. There was significant progress along the way but I dont believe I completely finished my journey. I do know that one of the steps along the way was forgiving my abuser. When I first heard that I felt as you did, and swore there never come a day that I could remotely forgive the torturous years my abuser sent me through. It would be a cold day in hell before he would ever have my pardon. In time I did learn to do just that, at and truly forgave him for all that he did. When I reached the stage of forgiving there was this huge load that was lifted off my shoulders; the hatred and venomous poison of disdain I had for my abuser was gone. Now, this does not mean from time to time a certain memory might trigger something within and anger once again surfaces against the person who stole your childhood and made life so difficult, but this too shall pass, or at least in my situation it does. I have far to go and many more issues to resolve, which are all a reflection on those years I endured the abuse. What I find to be sad is that there are many years I have lost being unable to even consider finding my soul mate for I live in fear as to knowing who I truly am. I live life hiding and running for which I am tired of doing. Perhaps one day I will make that crucial first step. As to you Garion, I believe time and patience, and a good therapist will send you on the right path of healing. What I encourage you to do is continue voicing your feelings and sharing your thoughts, it is so theraputic.
Best Regards
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top