outburst

[shadowkid]

i lost my temper in a post here and i would like to say i'm sorry but i'm not ,i been trying to find a way to let the kid in me speak out ,well the post in question did that for me ,shadow is on the loose and i cant stop him or shut him up ,i am feeling real anger for the first time since my abuse and you know what? i like it ,no more sloppy sweet adam posts ,i am shadow and i am fucking pissed off. adam comes here and acts like a total pussy ,he is stupid enough to think that people care about us,he has the stupid idea that he can help people here ,what a joke !adam will just go on trying to be some innocent guy who got hurt so bad ,fuck that!yeah i got hurt and i aint ever gonna get over it ,to tell the truth i feel like i wanna hurt right back you know ,make somebody fucking pay for what was done to me. i knew that sooner or later this would happen i mean how much of adams sticky sweet i love you bullshit do i have to listen to? i would like to thank trev for giving me the guts to say how i feel ,dude you unleashed a lion dont be surprised if he eats everything in sight. right now adam is crying !crying !makes me wanna puke !i survived all that shit to become him ? shoulda just made the fucker kill me would have been better that turnning into that little pussy. i think i'm over the edge but you know what i dont care and i aint comming back. my anger is my only friend and we get along just fine. as for adam ? he dont deserve to live the life i fought so hard for ,he is just another fucking grow up that let me down.

 

[roadrunner]

Shadow,

Personally, I don't think you should be shut up or stopped at all. What you have to say is important. Whether everything you say is true or not isn't the point right now. The things you are saying represent how you feel. That's the main thing.

It's very tempting to bury how we feel and hide it from the world and even from ourselves. But when we do that we are refusing to accept our RIGHT to feel. It's almost like saying we have no business reacting to the terrible things that were done to us.

How can we recover if we can't acknowledge how we feel, even to ourselves?

Much love,
Larry

 

[vhd11]

Shadow,
Do what you gotta do man! I spent decades burying those feelings to the point where I don't even know what I feel. Sometimes, I think about what was done to me and intellectually I get angry but the feelings are kind of numb.

I would be interested in knowing how you feel a month from now, year from now, etc.

Keep it real.
V

 

[ForeverFighting]

You know, Shadow, Adam was abused, too. I think he's doing absolutely the best he knows how. I mean, I understand it's not your way of dealing with things, but maybe if Adam knew just how angry you are, how you took all that crap just to protect everyone, how you're still protecting everyone from all the pain and stuff. How you feel he should have been able to do something. You know? I mean, it wasn't Adam that raped you. Wasn't it someone else who let you down and shoved you into this?

I've got one inside that protects me and gets sick of all the sappy "I'm healing", "here let me help you" emotional stuff, too, so he just shuts everything down so no one can feel anything. But maybe Adam needs to feel those things in small amounts so he can get stronger. The stronger he gets, the better he can take care of everyone inside. Maybe he doesn't realize that helping all those people is making your job more difficult. I've talked to Adam, and I don't think he's a bad guy or anything. I think he's a good man. Just like me, he needs help, too. Adam's not the bad guy. You know who the real bad guy is out there. Talk to Adam. Tell him what happened to you. How you felt. Maybe Adam will understand and he'll help you more.

You're not bad, Shadow. You'll never convince me that you're bad no matter how much you say. I was raped, too. I felt my uncle's breath, but I didn't feel how horrible it was until my inside one told me. He thought it was our fault. It wasn't. It was my uncle's fault, because my inside one was just a little kid.

Take care, Shadow. Tell Adam his brother FF says to take care, too. You've had so much fighting in life. Please rest just a little. Let you and Adam have a little peace for one day. The bad is out here. Not in there.

 

[reality2k4]

Adam, let shadow out, you cant keep him inside all your life, he awakens the Tiger inside you.
I let my little self out now and again, and it does me good.

This is the only place I can let little ste do the talking, nowhere else, and I even forget what he writes

I dont care, because it is how my mind works, and Adam, is still you, the kid who got you through was shadow, I was thingy, a much less revered name, but he got me through.

Letting go of past hurt is well worth the typing, as it shows what it truly was like, and nobody will hurt you for doing it,

ste

 

[OKIE MIKE]

Getting pisses off,is good some times