Out of Control Sexual Compulsions
SmartShadow
Registrant
Sexual compulsions stemming from childhood trauma
The following sections are from an article I found while researching about sexual compulsion and trauma.
I found this line particularly interesting.
“But this in itself tells us little about the issue of the man’s “real” sexual orientation”
And also this bit.
“You could say that in some situations addiction trumps orientation, and it is only after the person has worked through the unconscious issues driving the addiction and come to some level of sobriety from the drug of his acting out behavior that we can begin to see whether he actually has a gay or bi or straight orientation.”
In some cases the man in question is very addicted to real or virtual experiences of gay sex. In other words assessment will indicate that the behavior and associated fantasies are excessive and preoccupying. Also that he feels bad about how much it controls him, that there have been negative consequences in his life or relationships, that it has had a pattern of escalating over time and that he has been unable to quit. When sex addiction therapists see this pattern they often find that there is some history of trauma that is being played out compulsively in the addictive behavior pattern. Addictive sexual behaviors often mirror early memories and are highly charged by urges that come from deeply buried experiences. Hence they are powerful and can become a drug. But this in itself tells us little about the issue of the man’s “real” sexual orientation. He could be a gay or bisexual man who is a sex addict or he could be a straight man whose acting out behavior scenario is with gay men. As sex addiction therapists we are often unable to answer the question of orientation until the addiction has been addressed. You could say that in some situations addiction trumps orientation, and it is only after the person has worked through the unconscious issues driving the addiction and come to some level of sobriety from the drug of his acting out behavior that we can begin to see whether he actually has a gay or bi or straight orientation. It may be that he would be happier having relationships with men, that he is more likely to fall in love with men. Or he may find that he truly does prefer his relationship with a woman once he has given up his sexual acting out behavior in recovery. Regardless of what his sexual orientation turns out to be, this man may be like all recovering sex addicts. He may feel a pull toward his old addictive behavior, just as any addict would, whether he is in a relationship with a man or a woman. But in recovery this may be something that subsides with time. And that is the point: in recovery we truly have the choice to live in the way that will bring us the most fulfillment.
Taken from this article https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex-addiction/2013/03/when-straight-men-are-addicted-to-gay-sex/
The following sections are from an article I found while researching about sexual compulsion and trauma.
I found this line particularly interesting.
“But this in itself tells us little about the issue of the man’s “real” sexual orientation”
And also this bit.
“You could say that in some situations addiction trumps orientation, and it is only after the person has worked through the unconscious issues driving the addiction and come to some level of sobriety from the drug of his acting out behavior that we can begin to see whether he actually has a gay or bi or straight orientation.”
In some cases the man in question is very addicted to real or virtual experiences of gay sex. In other words assessment will indicate that the behavior and associated fantasies are excessive and preoccupying. Also that he feels bad about how much it controls him, that there have been negative consequences in his life or relationships, that it has had a pattern of escalating over time and that he has been unable to quit. When sex addiction therapists see this pattern they often find that there is some history of trauma that is being played out compulsively in the addictive behavior pattern. Addictive sexual behaviors often mirror early memories and are highly charged by urges that come from deeply buried experiences. Hence they are powerful and can become a drug. But this in itself tells us little about the issue of the man’s “real” sexual orientation. He could be a gay or bisexual man who is a sex addict or he could be a straight man whose acting out behavior scenario is with gay men. As sex addiction therapists we are often unable to answer the question of orientation until the addiction has been addressed. You could say that in some situations addiction trumps orientation, and it is only after the person has worked through the unconscious issues driving the addiction and come to some level of sobriety from the drug of his acting out behavior that we can begin to see whether he actually has a gay or bi or straight orientation. It may be that he would be happier having relationships with men, that he is more likely to fall in love with men. Or he may find that he truly does prefer his relationship with a woman once he has given up his sexual acting out behavior in recovery. Regardless of what his sexual orientation turns out to be, this man may be like all recovering sex addicts. He may feel a pull toward his old addictive behavior, just as any addict would, whether he is in a relationship with a man or a woman. But in recovery this may be something that subsides with time. And that is the point: in recovery we truly have the choice to live in the way that will bring us the most fulfillment.
Taken from this article https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex-addiction/2013/03/when-straight-men-are-addicted-to-gay-sex/
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