Our Untouchable SOULS
Our Untouchable SOULS
- Thread starterMuldoon
- Start date
I am reposting this because of what shadowkid said in his post
quote:
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he broke my mind and he still has the key to my soul .
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Shadowkid I do not think he has the key to your soul because I do beleive now that our souls are untouched by the abuse.
Tom
quote:
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he broke my mind and he still has the key to my soul .
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Shadowkid I do not think he has the key to your soul because I do beleive now that our souls are untouched by the abuse.
Tom
The Seeker
Registrant
I think our souls are the living essence of our beings. They are essentially life. Since I am still alive, I would say my soul is intact.
wow something i said got everybody talking ,cool , to me my soul is where all my feelings come from, sometime during my abuse i stopped feeling ,anything ,i had to ,to feel meant i could not live with myself ,to feel meant i would have to be aware of what was happening to me . isn't the soul what makes you believe ,in anything? you don't know but you just believe ,like god, can't see him but your soul tells you he exists,i also stopped believing ,in anything ,i turned my emotions off ,i had to i became a souless zombie.what is a person without the ability to ,cry at sadness ,laugh at humor , to care or care about being cared about?can i take back my innocence?can i get back that childs wonder at the world around him ? can i wipe away the scars inside and out?can i get back the feeling that the world was a good and kind place ,can i reach into his heart and take back my faith in god .i can't do these things anymore than i can reach out and find my soul .it is a very fragile thing once broken can't be replaced .
Born to Resist
Registrant
Thanks for reposting this. This came up in my session with my T today. Clearly an issue to wrestle with. I wrestled with this issue for so long and bounced around to many perspectives. Here is where I am with it ...
I believe the one thing that was not damaged was my soul. The abuse damaged my physical well being at the time, my pscholgical self, emotions, thoughts, behaviors ... but not my soul. Yes the darkness may surround my psychological self and it may surround my soul ... but my soul is not dark.
I believe no one has the key to my soul ... my soul is mine to give ... whether to give it to a higher power (one which I argue with and get angry with at times) for the purpose of good or to give it to a darker power (one who I will always hate) for the purpose of evil.
I try to nurture my soul and let it nurture my spiritual self
Courage-Wisdom-Spirituality
I believe the one thing that was not damaged was my soul. The abuse damaged my physical well being at the time, my pscholgical self, emotions, thoughts, behaviors ... but not my soul. Yes the darkness may surround my psychological self and it may surround my soul ... but my soul is not dark.
I believe no one has the key to my soul ... my soul is mine to give ... whether to give it to a higher power (one which I argue with and get angry with at times) for the purpose of good or to give it to a darker power (one who I will always hate) for the purpose of evil.
I try to nurture my soul and let it nurture my spiritual self
Courage-Wisdom-Spirituality
i don't know if i can explain it ,but when i believed in god or at least wanted to ,i felt that when we are born god made a mold for each of us ,it was a mold no one else had in a perfect world that mold would determine who we became just as god molded us ,but the abuse changed the mold, warped it,some of the clay got pushed out of shape ,yes i survived but not as the person god intended me ,i can never be the person i should have been ,i can heal and live but i can't be what i should have been ,because the mold was changed ,that mold to me is the soul ,the core, what makes us who we are supposed to be ,who god intended me to be ,i can't believe that the abuse was just part of god's plan for me .
Missed this first time around, glad I caught it this time.
"Soul"
I'm not religious, but I think I have some spirituality, some sense of my inner workings that have been with me from conception.
There are genetic links to my family from generations past, I see it in photo's of my great great grandfathers brother, the Reverend Hugh Lloyd. We look like twins and I wonder if we share more than a name and looks ( my middle name is Hugh and I was named after him )
He was a famous preacher throughout Wales in the days when Chapels were full three times every Sunday, and history has recorded his good works amongst the poor and sick. He's a hard act to follow
It would be a privelige to think that his 'soul' carries on through me, but maybe all we share is our looks?
Maybe my 'soul' is inherited from the slightly famous 'Cardiganshire Swagman', a brother of the Reverend who went to Australia on a convict boat and escaped to live a life of sheep stealing?
Wherever my 'soul' comes from I think it's something innate and unchangeable, I think it's the source of my childhood strength and what enabled me to survive.
Dave
"Soul"
I'm not religious, but I think I have some spirituality, some sense of my inner workings that have been with me from conception.
There are genetic links to my family from generations past, I see it in photo's of my great great grandfathers brother, the Reverend Hugh Lloyd. We look like twins and I wonder if we share more than a name and looks ( my middle name is Hugh and I was named after him )
He was a famous preacher throughout Wales in the days when Chapels were full three times every Sunday, and history has recorded his good works amongst the poor and sick. He's a hard act to follow
It would be a privelige to think that his 'soul' carries on through me, but maybe all we share is our looks?
Maybe my 'soul' is inherited from the slightly famous 'Cardiganshire Swagman', a brother of the Reverend who went to Australia on a convict boat and escaped to live a life of sheep stealing?
Wherever my 'soul' comes from I think it's something innate and unchangeable, I think it's the source of my childhood strength and what enabled me to survive.
Dave
Morning Star
Registrant
Only when we are in pain we bother to look whats inside us, to find whats hurting within us. That is when we find our Self in the process. Abuse is what makes sure we reach out to the source within to relieve that pain. Thus we connect back with our soul. Recovery is about reconnection, just as healing is about becoming whole again, by discovering the whole in us. That ends our feelings of pain and emptiness. And sure enough, this pain haunts us till we find ourselves. And that is a guarantee.
So when we as a soul choose to discover our self, we need experience something painful to remind us of who we are. And greater is the distance from our core, the greater force is needed to bring us back. That is the story of abuse.
This journey is about pain becoming a vehicle for us to reach our soul, to reconnect.
Pain is what opens a hearts up, closed for lifetimes. The problem occurs when we miss this point and instead take in abuse as a sign of self rejection. Infact abuse is nothing in front of our own self rejection which goes on for years. Later we blame everyone for our experience instead of letting it go. So much so, the abuse starts defining us and the abuser becomes the prime focus of our lives, instead of us.
Every body loves to hate Judas, but we forget his role, in the life of Jesus. For without him there would have been no crucification, nor any resurrection. Similarly, if we take everything as divine plan then even abuse is the result of our past Karma and releasing ourselves from our past Karma is possible only by accepting our past Karma with grace and humility. In fact self forgiveness is last and final step in healing the experience of abuse, thats when we are no longer a victim.
Next, comes the step of learning from it.
So when I feel my pain I am feeling my Self. And that is the by far the fastest way out, and not by trying fix ourselves like a broken jar. That way I would be fixing myself for the rest of our lives. Always feeling incomplete or unhealed.
Never realizing that it is our ego that makes us feel so and it would continue to do so, until we choose to think otherwise. And when we start identifying with the light, we become light. Pain becomes suffering only when it festers and becomes our life. The truth is that we were never really broken, so when I find myself saying, O, I am broken! I ask myself, Who is saying this?
Once our spiritual connection is found, it is easier to let go of the pain as we know that it is divine in its purpose. That is when pain doesnt become suffering. Pain is where growth is trying to happen.
The rest is easy. Just as once we have the master key, we can open all the locks, and when we find love at home we know it would last forever. We no longer look for it outside.
In the end, abuse has to be seen as an empowering experience, one that has made us more whole and complete; that is when we can consider ourselves healed.
So when we as a soul choose to discover our self, we need experience something painful to remind us of who we are. And greater is the distance from our core, the greater force is needed to bring us back. That is the story of abuse.
This journey is about pain becoming a vehicle for us to reach our soul, to reconnect.
Pain is what opens a hearts up, closed for lifetimes. The problem occurs when we miss this point and instead take in abuse as a sign of self rejection. Infact abuse is nothing in front of our own self rejection which goes on for years. Later we blame everyone for our experience instead of letting it go. So much so, the abuse starts defining us and the abuser becomes the prime focus of our lives, instead of us.
Every body loves to hate Judas, but we forget his role, in the life of Jesus. For without him there would have been no crucification, nor any resurrection. Similarly, if we take everything as divine plan then even abuse is the result of our past Karma and releasing ourselves from our past Karma is possible only by accepting our past Karma with grace and humility. In fact self forgiveness is last and final step in healing the experience of abuse, thats when we are no longer a victim.
Next, comes the step of learning from it.
So when I feel my pain I am feeling my Self. And that is the by far the fastest way out, and not by trying fix ourselves like a broken jar. That way I would be fixing myself for the rest of our lives. Always feeling incomplete or unhealed.
Never realizing that it is our ego that makes us feel so and it would continue to do so, until we choose to think otherwise. And when we start identifying with the light, we become light. Pain becomes suffering only when it festers and becomes our life. The truth is that we were never really broken, so when I find myself saying, O, I am broken! I ask myself, Who is saying this?
Once our spiritual connection is found, it is easier to let go of the pain as we know that it is divine in its purpose. That is when pain doesnt become suffering. Pain is where growth is trying to happen.
The rest is easy. Just as once we have the master key, we can open all the locks, and when we find love at home we know it would last forever. We no longer look for it outside.
In the end, abuse has to be seen as an empowering experience, one that has made us more whole and complete; that is when we can consider ourselves healed.
Lstincanberra
Registrant
Wanted to say
"while you hurt me, my soul looks and cries, my tears are for you, empty person, you are blind to me and,you that hurts others, you are empty on the inside".
"while you hurt me, my soul looks and cries, my tears are for you, empty person, you are blind to me and,you that hurts others, you are empty on the inside".
Grunty1967b
Registrant
Bullshit!
It affects every part of us.
(Not agro at you Tom, just the inference from some that it 'just' affects 'parts' of our life).
It pretty much screwed me entirely. I am getting better though - every part of me.
It affects every part of us.
(Not agro at you Tom, just the inference from some that it 'just' affects 'parts' of our life).
It pretty much screwed me entirely. I am getting better though - every part of me.
roadrunner
Registrant
I am a religious and spiritual man (I think), but leaving that input aside I do think that there are merits to both sides of this debate.
As I work towards recovery I see more and more of what Bruce (Grunty) is getting at. Abuse has had a comprehensive effect on me and it seems to have touched every aspect of my life. The more I think about things and try to work on my issues, the more complicated and pervasive it all seems. No part of my life has remained unharmed; no one close to me has emerged unhurt. The impact is devastating, and I think there is no way around this fact.
That said, I did manage to survive and fight off the numerous thoughts I had of suicide. I did manage to get through years of drug and alcohol abuse. I did manage to embark on a successful career, marry a loving and caring woman, and raise a wonderful family.
How do I acknowledge both of these apparently contradictory facts? For me what works is to think of myself has possessing a spirit or soul that, however battered, has remained intact through the years. The man who is emerging in me now is the man of my true potential - I am not reinventing myself, I am getting back in touch with the goodness and virtue that was always there.
Do we call that a soul? I do, but I don't insist on the term. Whatever it is, it is something within us that we can call upon for whatever strength we need. Maybe it is just a willingness to believe in ourselves.
Whatever it is, I think of it as something that we can lose only by giving up and throwing it away. No one and no evil can take it away from us.
Much love,
Larry
As I work towards recovery I see more and more of what Bruce (Grunty) is getting at. Abuse has had a comprehensive effect on me and it seems to have touched every aspect of my life. The more I think about things and try to work on my issues, the more complicated and pervasive it all seems. No part of my life has remained unharmed; no one close to me has emerged unhurt. The impact is devastating, and I think there is no way around this fact.
That said, I did manage to survive and fight off the numerous thoughts I had of suicide. I did manage to get through years of drug and alcohol abuse. I did manage to embark on a successful career, marry a loving and caring woman, and raise a wonderful family.
How do I acknowledge both of these apparently contradictory facts? For me what works is to think of myself has possessing a spirit or soul that, however battered, has remained intact through the years. The man who is emerging in me now is the man of my true potential - I am not reinventing myself, I am getting back in touch with the goodness and virtue that was always there.
Do we call that a soul? I do, but I don't insist on the term. Whatever it is, it is something within us that we can call upon for whatever strength we need. Maybe it is just a willingness to believe in ourselves.
Whatever it is, I think of it as something that we can lose only by giving up and throwing it away. No one and no evil can take it away from us.
Much love,
Larry
reality2k4
Registrant
Tom,
our souls are never taken, but we have to live with the fact that our childhoods were battered beyond regognition.
The frequency, violence, or whatever does not matter, it is more a case of abuse affecting your every aspect of life.
In many respects, the guys here seem to be so far and away thoughtful of others because of the hurt they suffered in the past.
The guys here show me so much strength to carry on, and they validate so many of my own past fears, but I reckon, that this place has shown me how to be strong when I just felt so weak, and all alone.
I am deeply humbled by some of the hurt that these other members have endured, and they still fight so hard through life, but I guess I would love them all as friends, more than any ordinary friendship could ever accomplish.
I am sorry that I have not posted for so long, but I have had a few problems, and could not get so much on line for months, but here I am.
Abuse, is abuse, is abuse, no matter what time frame or whatever, if it affects your everyday life for years, because of whatever affect it has had on your normal life, it is abuse.
You cannot detach the beautiful boy, who he was meant to be, even though others may find it difficult to understand him now or in the past.
The biggest issue in my life, is family denial of my past, but, I just said to them forget about it, after telling them all the problems I faced, they denied me.
They can forget, but not myself, and if they deny me, then that is their problem, not mine, but at least I gave them a chance.
Hey though Tom, I guess you have a place in heaven, and I hope that I have also,
ste
our souls are never taken, but we have to live with the fact that our childhoods were battered beyond regognition.
The frequency, violence, or whatever does not matter, it is more a case of abuse affecting your every aspect of life.
In many respects, the guys here seem to be so far and away thoughtful of others because of the hurt they suffered in the past.
The guys here show me so much strength to carry on, and they validate so many of my own past fears, but I reckon, that this place has shown me how to be strong when I just felt so weak, and all alone.
I am deeply humbled by some of the hurt that these other members have endured, and they still fight so hard through life, but I guess I would love them all as friends, more than any ordinary friendship could ever accomplish.
I am sorry that I have not posted for so long, but I have had a few problems, and could not get so much on line for months, but here I am.
Abuse, is abuse, is abuse, no matter what time frame or whatever, if it affects your everyday life for years, because of whatever affect it has had on your normal life, it is abuse.
You cannot detach the beautiful boy, who he was meant to be, even though others may find it difficult to understand him now or in the past.
The biggest issue in my life, is family denial of my past, but, I just said to them forget about it, after telling them all the problems I faced, they denied me.
They can forget, but not myself, and if they deny me, then that is their problem, not mine, but at least I gave them a chance.
Hey though Tom, I guess you have a place in heaven, and I hope that I have also,
ste