Our storys to our familys trigger

[Nathan LaChine]

I have noticed alot lately that some of my brothers are wanting or have talked about their abuse to their parents/family. The most important thing you must bear in mind is that you will probly not get support from them. Just because you talked about your abuse does not mean that you will get the support or love that you want from them. It is your choice to speak about your abuse but please do be careful my brothers.


lots of love, Nathan

 

[outis]

Nathan,

I knew by the time I finally registered that I would find people here who understood what I had to say, but I wasn't expecting a cyber-mind reader!

I spent a good portion of yesterday afternoon and early evening composing the words I would use to call my parents last night. In the process I trashed my mood. I ain't ready, but that wasn't going to stop me. The "depression" stopped me, though.

Thanks, yesterday makes a little more sense now.

Joe

 

[Wuamei]

Nathan:

Damned good advice, little wolf brother!

Here are some threads from the last 6 months or so, from oldest to newest, that might help with this matter of disclosure:

https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001316#000015

https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001592#000000

https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001664#000004

https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001700#000013

https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001931#000003

Finally, this oft-referred to (and rightly so!) article by Ken Singer on "Disclosure and Confrontation: Considerations for Survivors" at

https://www.malesurvivor.org/articles/singer3.htm

The threads are geared mostly toward disclosure & confrontation specifically with family, especially family of origin. Hope some of this helps, men.

Victor

 

[Wuamei]

Last nite I saw an "Everybody Loves Raymond" rerun
that in some way relates to this and may shed a little light & light-hearted humor.

This was one in the series of episodes where Raymond's wife Deborah & his mother Marie were not talking to each other even tho (becuz!) their families live right next door to one another.

Raymond & Frank (his father, Marie's husband) take
advantage of the situation by playing them against
one another to outdo each other in being nice to their hubbys thus getting pretty much whatever they want & can get.

Raymond's brother Robert who lives nearby sees this and is disgusted by it. He also of course wants his mother & sister-in-law to make up.

When he can stand it no longer and is tired of popping Tums for his stomach, Robert goes & tells
Deborah & Marie what Raymond & Frank are doing to them.

Of course when Ray & Frank find out they let Robert have it. As they do the narcissistic Marie catches on to the fact that Robert told Deborah about this first.

So Marie throws Robert out, her & Deborah still aren't talking, everyone is mad at each other and they're all mad at Robert.

The episode ends with a picture of Robert at home in bed pouring a bottle of Tums into his mouth.

No this wasn't about SA.

But it was about abuse of a kind.

And about being careful what you disclose when & how.

Especially as a member of a dysfunctional family!

Just some food for thot with a humorous twist!

Victor