"Organizing his world around the wound"

[Sans Logos]

Hello,

I recently read this statement "The abused child begins to organize his world around the wound." [Mic Hunter: Abused Boys, The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse, p.69]

I am dumbstruck reading this. What a revealation! This statement alone explains a lot of my behavior and choices that I had made throughout my entire life. My choice of places to live, career, friends; what thinking defenses I cultivated, what songs, books and movies I found appealing.

Have you guys done this as well? How has it manifested itself in your life? Inquiring minds want to know.

Thanks,

Ron

 

[Gadzook]

I believe I do this. I think its more (at least for me) something I do subconsciously. I think anything that impacts a persons life in a major way (sometimes even in subtle ways)- (negatively or positively) affects how a person lives their life. Choices we make. People we see. Things we do etc.

 

[guy43]

Ummm, I suppose that shoe fits Ron. I've certainly hidden from life as much as I could, I can spot all you've listed except for the books, music and movie likings, in myself.

And like Gadzook, most if not all of my "cultivated" defences and wall building have been unconscience. I most likely had 50% of my walls in place by age 10 before most of my abuse ocurred due to my dysfunctional family rearing. The rest of my wound protections came into being in my early/middle teens during the worse of my sa victimization. It's an apt word for me to use - victimization. It's how I carried myself from post-abuse times forward. By my middle to late teens, surprise, surprise, major depression became a controlling illness in my life.

I bleed (metaphorically) my way through jr. & sr. high school with an excess share of hopelessness and helplessness; in complete denial that the abuse had anything to do with how I was feeling and thinking.

What's heartening is that I've made some inroads into my sub/unconscience battles within and have faced them and gone through the old pain they represent.

What's disheartening is the work that remains, especially allowing my disociative parts the room to express themselves. Not to mention digging through my dark shadowy mind where fear and evil lie in wait. This could sound bleak, but actually, it's a positive step forward for me to be able to name my wounds and know what work I need and Can do ahead. The old adage - we have nothing to fear but fear itself - is trite but true in soooo many ways.

I'm guessing first we do a fair amount of wound licking or complete woundings avoidance before it becomes clear that we have to face it or be ruled forever by the ghosts of the bastards who harmed us.

jer