Open Journal #24
Open Journal #24
Full collection link in my signature below
In the interest of balance, I thought I would talk about some good things. I have released my mentor for the holidays. My Christmas present to him, me not whining into his inbox on a daily basis. I will do this and another post then take a break for a bit over the holidays. For all our sakes. I think I would like to see what it is like to try and not think about all of this stuff all of the time. Yes I will probably be in chat on a nightly basis as nothing changes and we march relentlessly on, but the intention was a good one.
I have felt very reclusive since coming here, not seeing people, dealing with a lot of stuff, and feeling emotional. I didn’t have the headspace for anything. The other day, circumstances meant I needed to run some errands and do some things that needed doing. So for two days, I went out into the big wide world and interacted and did the things.
I was very tired and was even worried about driving in case my concentration wasn’t up to it. I was also aware that my PTSD, (just never quite got how to refer to it), has been a bit oversensitive to noise and sensory stuff at the moment, making me a little anxious about being out in the wild. A crisp day, and I love driving and listening to music, so my mood lifted as I sat in the car. I returned to the house to get my phone and did the whole thing over again.
My first job was to get a haircut. Christmas haircuts are a rule. Photos will be taken at random moments, and you can at least ensure that you are presentable and not have to live with odd images of yourself for years to come. My barber is young and chatty. He knows I owned a record shop, so he has things for me to listen to, and we chatter about music.
Barbers do a lot of touching: back of the neck, ears, moves your head, strokes your hair. I know it’s normal, I know it doesn’t mean anything, I know it’s okay. I know it’s safe. And I don’t. At one point, he leans forward and says quietly into my ear, “ I like when you come in, you always make me laugh.”
I nearly cried. I have no idea why. It felt intimate and a nice thing to say. I told him I liked to see him as well. I didn’t mention all the touching; he didn’t need to know about that. My problem, not his. I left tidier and feeling that was a good start to the day.
I ran a few errands and then headed to the Apple Store, which I love. I have visited them all over the world. Full of shiny toys. I had been given permission to update my very out-of-date MacBook. I also had an Apple pencil that wouldn’t charge on my iPad. Secured an appointment for that and passed the waiting time spending too much money.
A funny, articulate, informed young woman, who understood the brief and helped me narrow it down to the right choice. We clicked and had a lot of fun, the kind of person you want to grab a coffee with and find out more about them. Back before dinosaurs roamed the earth, I used to train staff to use Mac’s and if I was to have my life again I would love to have worked for Apple, that or a Barrister.
As we finished the purchase, she said they were ready for me at the Genius Bar and she started walking me that way as if escorting me. I asked what she was doing, she grinned and said, “Oh, I’m not ready to leave all the laughter yet. I thought I would introduce you to my friend who is going to take care of you.” Which is what we did. For ten minutes, we just included her friend and had that coffee without the actual coffee. Good experience.
The Apple Pencil wasn’t working because the iPad had developed a fault on the little charging bit, so they just replaced the iPad. Apple Care+, which we need because of the crippling effect of losing a device halfway across the world at a crucial moment. Or in my case, the moment a MacBook screen went black and turned out to be a known fault with a batch of graphics cards, and they got that as I was about to start a week of hectic work far from home and in a field they needed to sort it out. They fixed it within the hour and saved my life. Which is why it is one of those things we can’t manage without.
I left with the promise they would get a replacement ASAP and I went on my way. Got in a crowded lift and commented to a couple of women with a cute baby in a pram that that was the way to go shopping , just be wheeled around and have a little sleep when you felt like it. At this point, the lift stopped and the doors opened and a good-looking man beside me pointed out the door and said ‘there’s a trolley there, hop in and I will wheel you about for the afternoon’ … lift full of people laughing at my red face. He grinned at me and I politely declined his kind offer. Fun.
The funny little moment the other morning when we took a delivery from someone at our front door and offered a chocolate from a bowl of wrapped Lindt chocolates as a little Christmas treat, the delivery boy mused and carefully took three different ones … I mean how rude … made us giggle a lot that he took his time picking them. I mean you take A chocolate … right?
So I have had a haircut and feel half human, I am sitting here typing this on the most beautiful new MacBook that is all smooth and sexy, and I have a new iPad for nothing. I must have been a very good boy. I don’t actually remember especially being good but I decided it was best if I didn’t say anything about that.
And yes, I know it isn’t Christmas yet, so technically I should not actually have my MacBook yet but the deal was this. My wife hates shopping, I love shopping, if she can’t be bothered to go and buy it and wrap it and make it a proper present then she loses the right to lay down loads of rules.
I think I might write about favourite Christmas music for my next post … let’s face it, probably the only week of the year you can.
svf
Full collection link in my signature below
In the interest of balance, I thought I would talk about some good things. I have released my mentor for the holidays. My Christmas present to him, me not whining into his inbox on a daily basis. I will do this and another post then take a break for a bit over the holidays. For all our sakes. I think I would like to see what it is like to try and not think about all of this stuff all of the time. Yes I will probably be in chat on a nightly basis as nothing changes and we march relentlessly on, but the intention was a good one.
I have felt very reclusive since coming here, not seeing people, dealing with a lot of stuff, and feeling emotional. I didn’t have the headspace for anything. The other day, circumstances meant I needed to run some errands and do some things that needed doing. So for two days, I went out into the big wide world and interacted and did the things.
I was very tired and was even worried about driving in case my concentration wasn’t up to it. I was also aware that my PTSD, (just never quite got how to refer to it), has been a bit oversensitive to noise and sensory stuff at the moment, making me a little anxious about being out in the wild. A crisp day, and I love driving and listening to music, so my mood lifted as I sat in the car. I returned to the house to get my phone and did the whole thing over again.
My first job was to get a haircut. Christmas haircuts are a rule. Photos will be taken at random moments, and you can at least ensure that you are presentable and not have to live with odd images of yourself for years to come. My barber is young and chatty. He knows I owned a record shop, so he has things for me to listen to, and we chatter about music.
Barbers do a lot of touching: back of the neck, ears, moves your head, strokes your hair. I know it’s normal, I know it doesn’t mean anything, I know it’s okay. I know it’s safe. And I don’t. At one point, he leans forward and says quietly into my ear, “ I like when you come in, you always make me laugh.”
I nearly cried. I have no idea why. It felt intimate and a nice thing to say. I told him I liked to see him as well. I didn’t mention all the touching; he didn’t need to know about that. My problem, not his. I left tidier and feeling that was a good start to the day.
I ran a few errands and then headed to the Apple Store, which I love. I have visited them all over the world. Full of shiny toys. I had been given permission to update my very out-of-date MacBook. I also had an Apple pencil that wouldn’t charge on my iPad. Secured an appointment for that and passed the waiting time spending too much money.
A funny, articulate, informed young woman, who understood the brief and helped me narrow it down to the right choice. We clicked and had a lot of fun, the kind of person you want to grab a coffee with and find out more about them. Back before dinosaurs roamed the earth, I used to train staff to use Mac’s and if I was to have my life again I would love to have worked for Apple, that or a Barrister.
As we finished the purchase, she said they were ready for me at the Genius Bar and she started walking me that way as if escorting me. I asked what she was doing, she grinned and said, “Oh, I’m not ready to leave all the laughter yet. I thought I would introduce you to my friend who is going to take care of you.” Which is what we did. For ten minutes, we just included her friend and had that coffee without the actual coffee. Good experience.
The Apple Pencil wasn’t working because the iPad had developed a fault on the little charging bit, so they just replaced the iPad. Apple Care+, which we need because of the crippling effect of losing a device halfway across the world at a crucial moment. Or in my case, the moment a MacBook screen went black and turned out to be a known fault with a batch of graphics cards, and they got that as I was about to start a week of hectic work far from home and in a field they needed to sort it out. They fixed it within the hour and saved my life. Which is why it is one of those things we can’t manage without.
I left with the promise they would get a replacement ASAP and I went on my way. Got in a crowded lift and commented to a couple of women with a cute baby in a pram that that was the way to go shopping , just be wheeled around and have a little sleep when you felt like it. At this point, the lift stopped and the doors opened and a good-looking man beside me pointed out the door and said ‘there’s a trolley there, hop in and I will wheel you about for the afternoon’ … lift full of people laughing at my red face. He grinned at me and I politely declined his kind offer. Fun.
The funny little moment the other morning when we took a delivery from someone at our front door and offered a chocolate from a bowl of wrapped Lindt chocolates as a little Christmas treat, the delivery boy mused and carefully took three different ones … I mean how rude … made us giggle a lot that he took his time picking them. I mean you take A chocolate … right?
So I have had a haircut and feel half human, I am sitting here typing this on the most beautiful new MacBook that is all smooth and sexy, and I have a new iPad for nothing. I must have been a very good boy. I don’t actually remember especially being good but I decided it was best if I didn’t say anything about that.
And yes, I know it isn’t Christmas yet, so technically I should not actually have my MacBook yet but the deal was this. My wife hates shopping, I love shopping, if she can’t be bothered to go and buy it and wrap it and make it a proper present then she loses the right to lay down loads of rules.
I think I might write about favourite Christmas music for my next post … let’s face it, probably the only week of the year you can.
svf
