"Only the Beginning..."Strong (Oral) Triggers!!!

ODAT

Registrant
INTRO:
When I was 13 (my abuse was at 8) the band Chicago had their first record
and a hit called "Beginnings" that had a line "Only the beginning...of what
I want to feel forever." With my abuse my life has been "Only the beginning...
of what I have to feel forever." This poem has strong oral sex triggers.

"Only the Beginning..."
Big arms wrapped around me
Undoing my little belt
My pants then quickly removed
My body slowly felt

We've been together now three times
In each you took me from behind
But today's the day I really dread
My little mouth will soon be fed

While feeling me up
Your pants slide down
Along with my head
As you turn me around

And then all you wanted
Was my wet, working mouth
Pushing down on my shoulders
My head going south

I close my eyes
And my head holding still
My mouth now wide open
As it slowly gets its fill

In finding my mouth
There's nothing I can say
My silence is assured
You want it that way

I know what is coming
My heart starts to sink
You'll pump for an hour
Until my first drink

I was about to learn the meaning
Of the kids slur, "Suck my dick."
Little did I know back then
My first taste of (many) pricks

Now you're building up your rhythm
I'm feeling your thrusting power
And telling me "Just suck it"
Which I'd do for about hour

Then the shock of that first time
As you finally let it go
You hold my my head until I swallow
It's hot and creamy and I feel it's flow

You taught me well
How to suck a dick
That fact I can't ignore it
Then 20 years later in fact
I did go out and explore it

In my 20's to 40's
Sucking many married cocks
Little did I know, your dick was still the key
And my mouth was still the lock

It's the powerful bond I cannot break
Into my mouth you still come
My silence is deafening, my lips numb

Imprints met
Templates set
How do I ignore it?
It's the dream I cannot awake

And given then
My little friend
What I thought was the end
Was "Only the Beginning..."
Of what I will feel forever.
 
Odat
You say it all
The living breathing truth
My mouth felt it all
My body hating
My mind trapped by his need
The soul wanting release
The desire of each thrust returning each time
Returning
Be strong so we can deny the painful pleasure
 

ODAT

Registrant
Odat
You say it all
The living breathing truth
My mouth felt it all
My body hating
My mind trapped by his need
The soul wanting release
The desire of each thrust returning each time
Returning
Be strong so we can deny the painful pleasure

Thank you so much for writing that as I was a little nervous about this one. I have not been with a man in 20 years but the pull has returned and I am fighting it hard. I have a beautiful wife who doesn’t deserve the worries I’ve put her through. I’ve read about your journey and hope I can be strong like you. Be well and thanks for your kind words and concern. A lot comes out of me when I get started on this poetry!
 
@ODAT, I’m struggling to find the words for you. You put a tremendous amount of energy into this one. You let your mind travel back,
I know it had to be difficult. The thing that makes me shudder is the imprint it has left in the mind , the setting of the templates. That are forever changed, why we still live with
these urges and mind twisting compulsive
reactions. I feel strongly by sharing these gut
wrenching memories in this beautiful form,
among other survivors, has got to help
with our journey! Very well done my friend! LRD
 
Thank you for reaching into your "locked rooms" and healthily purging out the toxic mold by sharing it with us. It's brave to work so deeply on yourself, and the things that torment you. Many of us can relate to your struggles.
Your sharing like this does have an impact, as powerful and as uncomfortable as it may be for some of us. "The truth will out", as the old saying goes.
Be proud of your bravery and vulnerability buy exposing your torments, as a way to help yourself survive and recover.
 

Iv0_An

Registrant
It's raw, but it's honest. I can only admire the bravery to share this with us. And once again I see this truth in our poems here in the forum - the abuse last forever. The physical act may have stopped, but the mental torment maybe never will. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with us.
 

ODAT

Registrant
It's raw, but it's honest. I can only admire the bravery to share this with us. And once again I see this truth in our poems here in the forum - the abuse last forever. The physical act may have stopped, but the mental torment maybe never will. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with us.

Thank you for your kind words. I felt kind of exposed with this one but I knew that if anyone understood it, it would be my brothers in MS…
 

Hopein14isNever22

Registrant
INTRO:
When I was 13 (my abuse was at 8) the band Chicago had their first record
and a hit called "Beginnings" that had a line "Only the beginning...of what
I want to feel forever." With my abuse my life has been "Only the beginning...
of what I have to feel forever." This poem has strong oral sex triggers.

"Only the Beginning..."
Big arms wrapped around me
Undoing my little belt
My pants then quickly removed
My body slowly felt

We've been together now three times
In each you took me from behind
But today's the day I really dread
My little mouth will soon be fed

While feeling me up
Your pants slide down
Along with my head
As you turn me around

And then all you wanted
Was my wet, working mouth
Pushing down on my shoulders
My head going south

I close my eyes
And my head holding still
My mouth now wide open
As it slowly gets its fill

In finding my mouth
There's nothing I can say
My silence is assured
You want it that way

I know what is coming
My heart starts to sink
You'll pump for an hour
Until my first drink

I was about to learn the meaning
Of the kids slur, "Suck my dick."
Little did I know back then
My first taste of (many) pricks

Now you're building up your rhythm
I'm feeling your thrusting power
And telling me "Just suck it"
Which I'd do for about hour

Then the shock of that first time
As you finally let it go
You hold my my head until I swallow
It's hot and creamy and I feel it's flow

You taught me well
How to suck a dick
That fact I can't ignore it
Then 20 years later in fact
I did go out and explore it

In my 20's to 40's
Sucking many married cocks
Little did I know, your dick was still the key
And my mouth was still the lock

It's the powerful bond I cannot break
Into my mouth you still come
My silence is deafening, my lips numb

Imprints met
Templates set
How do I ignore it?
It's the dream I cannot awake

And given then
My little friend
What I thought was the end
Was "Only the Beginning..."
Of what I will feel forever.
Wow!!
 
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