Online conflict.

Online conflict.
L

Lloydy

Registrant
In my ceaseless search of the internet for useful "stuff" I found a very interesting article about how to avoid online war.
It's written by the excellent Kali Munro and has some good tips on avoiding 'flame wars' and 'cyber-violence' that can turn a normaly peaceful site into a war zone.

I'm not dropping hints that we're heading suddenly heading for meltdown, far from it, but it's a good article that makes some useful points we can all learn from.

Have a look and see what you think.

https://www.malesurvivor.org/conflict.htm

Dave
 
Mr. Lloyd Sir:

That is exactly what I have been saying all along.

One is the absence of visual and auditory cues. When we talk to someone in person, we see their facial expressions, their body language, and hear their tone of voice. Someone can say the exact same thing in a number of different ways, and that usually effects how we respond.

For example, someone could shout and shake their finger at you, or they could speak gently and with kindness. They could stand up and tower over you, or they could sit down beside you. How you feel, interpret, and respond to someones message often depends on how they speak to you, even when its a difficult message to hear.
Click to expand...
We only get a partial part in cyber space and that is just the written word.

Maybe we should post that at the entrance to chat
 
Thank you Mr Church, I'm pleased to see that you've read, learned and inwardly digested that message.

Dave ;)
 
This is just the sort of worthless dribble I would expect from the likes of the two of you. Only kidding, but seriously the best way to avoid a fight is to stake out your philosophical territory and make it known. There are going to be fights along the way but letting them die on there own is the best way to avoid flare ups. That's why when you see news coverage of wild fires they speak of containment, surround it let it burn it's self out, other wise the unburned fuel will still pose a risk. It's the same with cyber fights.

Later,

Brian.
 
Brian
thanks for the vote of confidence ;)

I agree that when a riot breaks out there's little anyone can do, and often any attempt at sending in the riot squad only makes things worse. The anger and venom spreads.

The main point of that article is raising awareness of prevention, and I think it does that.
There's a lot of good points that sometimes get overlooked, we do begin to think that we "know" how someone will react to a "pointed remark", and if we get it wrong all hell breaks loose.

I think you've rightly judged that Mike and I wont take offence at your opening comment, because it was written with the intent of raising a smile,( I bloody well hope it's written that way ! :D ) which it's done - and raising the level of discussion by keeping us on our toes and avoiding complacency, and I hope it's done that.

Your comment has made me think, am I guilty of drifting off into "mindless drivel" sometimes ?
I have to plead guilty with mitigating circumstances I suppose :rolleyes:

But whatever we do online does carry the risk that we are going to get it wrong sometimes, I know I've upset people here before now with my black humour and wise cracks, and sometimes I haven't been able to patch it up with the other guy which is sad.
So if this article does raise awareness just a little bit, then maybe somebody wont have to apologise, but if they do then maybe the offended person can accept the apology in the way it was intended.

Dave
 
I think also, we are in a situation at this site where everyone has emotional issues already 'on the table'. So I think it is easier, and takes less effort to evoke emotional response at a site as this. There will always be times when each of us here will be upset, hurt, angry, sad, happy, etc, just as every human in life. But here, it seems to be more magnified, because of the emotional level we are all at here (or would not need to be here probably). I think the best we can do is be aware of how we say things, and treat everyone with respect as we would wish it at ourselves.

leosha
 
If everyone got along in every day life the way people relate on this board, the world would be a much better place!

I have been so impressed with the compassion, understanding, and genuine love and caring around here, and here's Dave, making sure to keep it that way! What a guy!

By the way, the sense of humor thing is a plus!
:D

Lynn
 
Dave,
Thanks for the additional tools and info to help keep (us) and this site more civil. For the most part, I made a decision some time ago to not respond to, or to just ignore those postings that I think are totally ridiculous or attention seeking. That way I stay out of the fray. Peace, Andrew
 
I'm just bumping this back up.

For no other reason than we've had a tough time with imposters recently and at these times it's easy to get a bit uneasy amongst ourselves.
And it's a good read for anyone involved in any kind of online community.

Thanks
Dave
 
Oh, great! 9 hours at work and now I have homework ;) .

I read this very carefully, Dave. And I agreed with it. A lot of the how we respond was what I said in my "I am human" post. Came from a psychology text I read, but can't remember where.

I still think the best idea when you are offended is to step back for a minute and consider why you are offended and what do you think the other person was trying to say. If that still doesn't help, I would ask for a clarification, privately, before I lash out. Or so I would hope.

The part about being tired and upset is VERY important, especially on the chat when we are more apt to be tired. I know. In the beginning, it made me more touchy.

Thanks for bumping this back up.

Marc
 
Marc
make sure your homework is handed in on time - or you get detention !

Dave :D
 
Yeah Dave, Thanks for bumping this up. I wish I would have thought of it. I guess that's why you are the Administrator.

Keep up the good work,
Bill
 
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